goldenglasses | [Voice]

[and like a switch, the hysteria leaves him, and my, he sounds quite serious]

Vash, I know where you live. That coat of yours sticks out like a blood against the snow. And I could spot your shitty hair a mile away.

[sound of him getting to his feet, stretching out nicely]

But I don't completely hate you. And Usopp and Brook like you well enough. Allow me to show you my... appreciation, by making this quick, alright?

A little Christmas gift between men.

Well... [Switching totally serious as well] if you're being kind enough to warn me I think it's only fair to do the same.

If you still wish to come after me then you should know that on my planet I am an ace gunman known as a humanoid typhoon with a 60,000,000,000 double dollar bounty on my head. So powerful I even put a giant crater on one of the moons. I will shoot you a mile away; before you can even get close. If you still wish to confront one such as I.

[Meek, mild, and terrified voice.] Please tell me you're buying that right?

Oh? If we're doing proper introductions... [pulls out a cigarette] Forgive my rudeness, gunman.

I'm the chef for the Straw Hats pirate crew, and for the man who's gonna find One Piece and become the next Pirate King. [there's a light grin playing on his face; it's hard to tell how seriously he's taking Vash's words]

Which might not mean shit to you, but I'm sure your 60,000,000,000 double dollar bounty won't have a problem against my 77,000,000 beri one.

[and he starts walking]

And of course I believe you, Vash. The best lies tend to be the truth.

W-wait... you're still coming!?

It didn't work? ...oh shit.

MOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!

[and a Vash-hunting Sanji will go! He stops long enough to threaten the crew minus Nami with no dinner if they don't shove it and then is out the door! The first place he hits? Well, Vash made it sound like he was near the fountain, so that's where he'll start.

Sadly, it looks like the idiot took off. Heh, smart man]

Oi, where the hell are you, Broom Head?

I dunno Twinkle Toes! But I’m sure as hell not up here!! [Did that voice come from the roof to your right? Yes. Yes it did.]

[Head turning slowly. Seriously, Vash? Seriously? Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. He's gonna walk over to said roof]

What type of idiot do you take me for? [and with that, he's going to kick himself off the ground and clear the distance to the roof. Sadly, he can't just destroy it]

[Well Vash is actually laid back on top of the roof; chilling. Took you long enough to get-AHHHHHHHHH How'd he climb up so fast!?] GAHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Jumping down off the roof now and taking off at a run.]

[the bastard was relaxing? Oh, Sanji's blood pressure is gonna be sky high today]

AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [jumps right back off the roof too and takes off after him, and Vash, you better be quick about it, because Sanji is not slow]

AWAY FROM YOU! [And trying to lose you between buildings apparently.]

[oh he can try, but he's not succeeding]

I CAN'T PROMISE A QUICK DEATH IF YOU KEEP RUNNING, SHIT HEAD.

Can't we talk about this!?

Oh, sorry; I thought you got all your damn talking out of the way on the shit journals!

I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry! It was just a joke!

HA. FUCKIN. HA.

[and have a random barrel shooting for your backside, Vash. Sanji kicked it out of hammer space]

[WTF?! Dodging that but JUUUUUST barely.] What was that!? What's WRONG with you!?

[not answering. He's just gonna keep tracking your ass until he is within pwning distance]

[After a brief chase around the village and picking up a Eiko; Vash is starting to tire slightly. Huh… where is Vash from? Oh yeah. A desert planet. So that ice up ahead? Yeah… most people would probably go around it or at least slow down but not Vash. He hits it at a full sprint and he’s up! He’s flying! He does a full flip before landing on his back.] Aiaiaiii…

[Oh man!! Eiko isn't sure if she should laugh at something like that or not!! It had to hurt landing on his wings, but she can't help but laugh a little anyway...]

Ouch...

[That wasn't quite how Sanji expected to catch up with the Broom Head at last, but he'll take it. He smartly jumps over the ice patch and, calm as you please, waltzes up to Vash's prone body with Eiko still on his back]

Humanoid Typhoon, huh?

[game over, Vash]

Uh... yeah? You should run. Yup! That's excatly what you should do before something bad happens!

[Sorry Vash, Eiko's still laughing a little]

Humanoid Typhoon??

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