[Action]

[goldenglasses]

[Those who know Vash may have been noticing slight differences about him the past week to two weeks. He's not around as much, taking longer and longer walks through the forest. Visiting the spot where he once fought Wolfwood and Legato more and more.

Today he leaves his house extra early and spends most of the day at that spot. He has his journal and will answer it if someone wants to get a hold of him, but will not be using it himself. He'll return to the village later in the evening and finds a quiet place to sit at Good Spirits with a bottle of cheap whiskey.]

There's so much life in this place... and yet... [No one knows the terrible things I've done.]

[He'll be there until the place looks like it's about to close up before stumbling his way back home. It's on his way that he takes his journal out and speaks into it with the slightest slur to his voice.]

[Voice]

On this day, back home... the city of July was destroyed. I know - I know you all couldn't know the people there. I just, I just don't want them to ever be forgotten and how they lost everything in a single moment. [He stops speaking for a moment. His voice breaking as tears start to fall from his eyes.] And I'm so sorry.

Comments

[goldenglasses]

[Crap. You know, Big Girl? You really are too smart sometimes. Here Vash was really hoping he'd just get a lecture on getting a hangover until that last bit.

But it's been a long, long night. And there's so little that he can think of to say to that anymore. He clutches his pillow tighter to his face, not wanting her to see the tears that begin welling up anew and to try to muffle the sobs he can feel trying to escape his throat.

He can't be forgiven. Not for something like that. Why can't people understand that?]

[stungunning]

[Oh dear.

For a moment, Milly thinks she should go and wake Wolfwood and recruit his help, but he's sleeping and it's best to let him stay that way. She can't exactly offer up a hug with a nursing baby in his sling, so what she does is perch precariously on the side of the bed and tentatively pet his hair, the way she does with Noah when he's colicky or scared.]

We love you very much Mr. Vash. It's not your fault, and I don't know if it will help you feel better, but we forgive you.

[goldenglasses]

How... how could you ever forgive something so terrible?

[stungunning]

Because sometimes Mr. Vash, terrible things happen to good people. Awful, terrible things happen and you think 'if only I'd done this or said that or not let someone go and do something' and you keep on thinking it and thinking it and it makes you sick to your stomach and your heart and it hurts. And then one day, you realise that if you keep feeling that way then it's never going to stop hurting, and that's when you know that you have to let it go. Grief is like that, and so is forgiving somebody.

[Her voice is low and soft as she keeps stroking his hair.]

I don't know, maybe if you were as awful and terrible as people said you were it would be different, but you're not. You're the very opposite of that really, and you know Mr. Vash, because it hurts you so much... that's enough of a reason for someone to forgive you. If you were the sort of person to laugh about it, or never give it a second thought, then you could never be forgiven. That's what I think.

[goldenglasses]

I don't deserve to ever be forgiven.