But how, how can I say the things I do and mean them when I can be changed so easily? For everything to be forgotten, just like that? [How can he tell people that every life has value if he can't keep to it himself? What would could he tell Knives if he came back again to find he had killed Legato again?

He knows it's an experiment. That he doesn't have a choice, but to change something so deep that is his core? It scares him.]