goldenglasses | [Accidental Voice]

["A word in my defense, Captain. Apples seem to be very popular this time of year."

He knew this dream. He knew it as more than a dream. A memory. The way the kids bit into the apples he bought instead of the ice cream they had demanded. Those young lives so full of energy and life. They had been so kind. Looking out for each other and the people who lived in the city with them.

It was a good city. It had been a great city. One of the largest on the planet. Filled with so many different lives and voices. He had played with those kids and they had so easily welcomed him into their group. What had he done for them in return?

"Oh. Hey, Vash."

What had he done in return?]

[A green eyed cat watches as her pet tosses and turns in his bed. He was usually so quiet when he slept that this was all just a bit unnerving to her. She tries a few meows to try to wake him, but it fails and she moves to jump onto him. Only as Kuroneko jumps from the desk to the bed Vash's journal falls to the floor. It shows nothing but the darken floor, but the audio picks up everything for those up early around 3am.

It starts off with unintelligible moaning. The very keen ears might be able to pick up a few words like: Stop. Light. And jumbled pleading. It grows in intensity and volume until suddenly the mutter stops and instead breaks into a scream.]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHHHHHHH! GRAHHHHAAAH! NOT AGAIN! PLEASE NOT AG- [The scream cuts off as Vash fully awakens. Unable to catch his breath and breathing rapidly for a moment before the sounds of his feet hit the floor and they go running off out of the room followed by a door being slammed open. The audio goes quiet after that until Vash is finished emptying his stomach and returns to his room. Crying softly as he does.

Alert him to his open journal? Or for those who would rather speak to Vash in person the next day he'll be people watching at the fountain. Only lacking his usual cheerful smile and lost in distant thought as he sits on the fountain's edge.]

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[Sheena often sleeps with her journal open, which is a terrible habit and wakes her up more than she likes. Doesn't stop her from doing it. The scream is a new one, for her, and she's nearly on the floor before she realizes it's her book doing all the yelling.

In the dark and quiet of her house she just listens, for a while, sleep fading from her mind to be replaced by a bit of worry and a lot of listening - for the return of the person who screamed. When he does come back, she waits a few moments before saying anything:]

That sounded like a bad one. [She's whispering, it's three in the morning.] You okay?

Yeah. I'm okay. [Spoken back just as softly.] I'm sorry for waking you up. [At least he's assuming that he did.]

Don't worry about it, I'm not a heavy sleeper. [Not anymore, anyway.] Want company? I'll open the tea shop for you if you want.

Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay now. [A lie. He would never be okay, but the last thing he wanted to be was a bother.]

Yeah, and I'm up this early for my health. [She gentles it, not intending to make him feel guilty. Truth be told, Sheena's personal nightmares do this to her more often than she'd like.] But, if you're sure.

I'm really sorry about that. I forgot to put the rock on the journal last night. [Yes. He keeps a rock on it.] But really, I'm alright. [He wasn't worth the trouble.]

Forgot to put the- never mind.

[Not important. What people do with rocks is their business.] I meant it, though, don't be sorry. At least not to me. Guessing it's not something you wanna talk about either, so, uh...I hope you sleep better until tomorrow?

[And then Sheena went and bluntly stated what he was struggling with. If he didn't tell people about July would he then be running away? It wasn't something he should be possibly upsetting people over when it wasn't their world. Yet, most people didn't fear him here, while it was what he wanted, it also wasn't fair.

It is running away from a mistake, isn't it, Rem?]

It's just... the world I'm from, something horrible happened around this time of year. Guess you could say it's been on my mind. [He also know Sheen has been in Luceti for some time now.] I've mentioned it some time ago, you may not remember. [Luceti is weird like that and he doesn't expect her to remember anyway.] The lost city of July from my home.

[Oh, wow. She didn't expect him to say anything about his nightmares to a mostly-stranger. At all.

She figures she can match it with a little honesty of her own.]

Sorry, I have a little trouble remembering stuff sometimes. I guess it kinda sounds familiar. [Except the summary her brain comes up with is "a planet exploded" and she knows that can't be right.] But you're definitely not alone, havign dreams about bad stuff from your world.

[Normally Vash keeps his pain to himself when he can. This was a bit different as this pain wasn't his alone. What would those who lost loved ones think if the knew he was hiding his crime?] I know, it's just that... [How he doesn't want to say it.] The city was destroyed because of me.

[Oh. Oh hey, she does think she's heard something like this before. She can't remember what she said to him the last time.]

It's not like you showed up planning to wreck the place. ...Uh, right? [It wouldn't fit with her image of Vash but...]

No, but all those people, they still died because of me. Because I made a mistake and lost control-- of the situation. [The situation is added on a bit hurriedly as he realizes that is is still kinda true. He did lose control of the situation as he's not sure he's really ready to explain how he alone destroyed a city that large.]

[The smile spreading across Sheena's face is humorless, dry. Better that he can't see it. I screwed up and people died, the refrain of Sheena's life.]

Don't worry, I get it. Even when you try really hard to make things right, sometimes it all falls apart anyway.

Sometimes... yeah. [He swallows hard and tries to hold onto the image of Meryl standing in front of him that time when he had been so ready to give up.] I know all I can do is keep moving forward. Trying to find a way to learn and fix my mistakes. [He opens his eyes again.] Even if it may seem impossible.

Wish I could tell you I know for sure one way or the other if it is.

[Sheena thinks she's grown a lot, fixed a lot of things about herself that weren't so great...but the 'on the hook' feeling comes back.]

No, I know I need to keep moving. It wouldn't be fair for the lives that were lost because of me if I simply gave up.

[Sometimes, doing everything possible to make up for those lives still isn't enough.]

Guess you've got at least that part under control then, huh?

[If only it was.]

Yeah. That part I know well. The ticket to the future is always blank. It's up to me to decide where it will go and what I'll do with it. I just have to take their memory with me and never forget them.

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