[Action for house/Voice]

[goldenglasses]

[He was dreaming, he was out in the forest, but this wasn’t like most of the dreams he had that were in the forest. He was fighting someone, but who…? Legato? No! It was---!!] Wolfwood! [His stressed brain works over time as it seems to take everything in at once. He’s in his room. Something cold on his wrist - handcuffs - his ankle too. The end of the fight comes running back to him. Wolfwood was alive and taking safety measures.

Good. He deserved to be chained up like a monster. Just thinking about what he’d done makes his stomach turn. Without even really thinking about it he slides himself up trying to bring his knees to his chest. He should call for Wolfwood, make sure he was alright and to get out of these chains, but… he just couldn’t look him in the face right now. I tried to kill him. Ugh. He lowers his head; afraid he really was going to be sick.

Then sometime after one of his roommates have set him free and he can get to his journal he‘ll put up a filter, although it takes him a long time to speak into it after it goes up.]

[Filtered from Legato // 100% Unhackable]

[At first his speaking is very quick and precise, like he’s rehearsed this. That won’t last long though.] Everyone, I’m sorry, if you spoke or met me recently that… it… it wasn- [A sigh and maybe what could be the sound of a piece of paper being crumpled.] I can’t say it wasn’t me, it was… but I would never… what I said these last couple weeks, I would never normally say or do those things. I am so sorry. So, very sorry. [He not even going to bother to ask you all to forgive him.]

[Filtered to Kaori // 100% Unhackable]

Are you alright? I… I’m so sorry that I hurt you.

[Written to Legato // 100% Filtered.]

[Vash hesitates on this. He’s pretty sure Legato would also rather pretend the last couple weeks didn’t happen, but still, Vash couldn’t do that. He also couldn‘t bring himself to speak it either. So after a long pause he quickly scribbles.]

Thank you.

[This post may or may not have been made from within Vash’s closet. He knows he has to go back outside at some point - even just to make sure Legato hasn’t gone on a rampage - he’s just not ready to face people yet.]

Comments

[goldenglasses]

[He's surprised when she leans against him and just ends up standing there not really sure what to move.] Why... you should be angry at me.

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

Why would I be angry?

[goldenglasses]

Because I... Meryl, I hit you. I hit you and left you to freeze in the snow!

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

Vash, I told you then and I'll tell you now... that wasn't you.

[goldenglasses]

[He shakes his head.] No! I know it was an experiment. I know the Malnosso might have messed with thinking, but it was still me!

I'm so sorry Meryl! So, so sorry!

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

[ She reaches a hand up to stroke his cheek and speaks softly and calmly. ]

Vash, it's okay. I'm not mad and I forgive you.

[goldenglasses]

[He reaches up and gently takes hold of your hand, to stop the stroking. He does not deserve this kind of comfort in his mind.] No, it's not okay.

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

[ She stops and frowns at him. ]

Isn't that something I get to decide?

[goldenglasses]

But... what if they were to change me again? I could hurt you again, maybe even kill you! [Someone has a little phobia all of a sudden.]

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

I won't let that happen. I promise.

[goldenglasses]

[Vash looks away, he wants to believe, but he's still feeling horribly guilty and afraid this could happen again. Unable to come up with an answer he just sighs.]

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

Vash... I'm not afraid of you hurting me. If you'd really wanted to, you could have shot me... but no matter what they do, your true self always manages to come through. It'll be alright. I know it will be.

[goldenglasses]

[A long pause before he continues.] I wanted to shoot Wolfwood... and I... I think I would have if [Legato] - if I hadn't been stopped.

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

[ She curls her fingers around the hands stopping hers from comforting him. ]

Vash... if anyone would forgive you, it's him.

[goldenglasses]

I don't deserve his forgiveness! What if next time there's no one there to stop me?!

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

You have plenty of friends here, powerful ones. They can stop you. We don't want to lose you, Vash.

[goldenglasses]

[Vash just shakes his head and lowers it. He still feels like a monster, but he can't say anything against that. All his friends here are so much stronger than him.]

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

[ She smiles a little and moves herself so she can see him. ]

Vash...

[goldenglasses]

[He looks towards Meryl when she calls his name, but he can't help but to stare sadly at the side of her face that he hit.]

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

[ She moves her hands to his shoulders and pulls herself up as far as she can to kiss his chin. She still can't reach that mouth. Smile, please smile. ]

[goldenglasses]

[He doesn't smile, but he goes from looking like a beaten puppy to utter shock and confusion.] Meryl?

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

Please... don't look so sad, Vash. I'm so tired of that face.

[goldenglasses]

[He sighs and puts on a small smile. Just for you.] Alright Meryl, I'll try not to.

[bernardelli.livejournal.com]

Everything... everything will be alright. It'll work out. [ She smiles carefully back. ] I believe in you, so believe in yourself a little, too.

[goldenglasses]

Okay, Meryl. [He reaches forward and moves to gently touch the bruise he had made, but in the end just lets his hand drop.] I'm so sorry I was weak and hurt you.