goldenglasses | [Action for house/Voice]

[He was dreaming, he was out in the forest, but this wasn’t like most of the dreams he had that were in the forest. He was fighting someone, but who…? Legato? No! It was---!!] Wolfwood! [His stressed brain works over time as it seems to take everything in at once. He’s in his room. Something cold on his wrist - handcuffs - his ankle too. The end of the fight comes running back to him. Wolfwood was alive and taking safety measures.

Good. He deserved to be chained up like a monster. Just thinking about what he’d done makes his stomach turn. Without even really thinking about it he slides himself up trying to bring his knees to his chest. He should call for Wolfwood, make sure he was alright and to get out of these chains, but… he just couldn’t look him in the face right now. I tried to kill him. Ugh. He lowers his head; afraid he really was going to be sick.

Then sometime after one of his roommates have set him free and he can get to his journal he‘ll put up a filter, although it takes him a long time to speak into it after it goes up.]

[Filtered from Legato // 100% Unhackable]

[At first his speaking is very quick and precise, like he’s rehearsed this. That won’t last long though.] Everyone, I’m sorry, if you spoke or met me recently that… it… it wasn- [A sigh and maybe what could be the sound of a piece of paper being crumpled.] I can’t say it wasn’t me, it was… but I would never… what I said these last couple weeks, I would never normally say or do those things. I am so sorry. So, very sorry. [He not even going to bother to ask you all to forgive him.]

[Filtered to Kaori // 100% Unhackable]

Are you alright? I… I’m so sorry that I hurt you.

[Written to Legato // 100% Filtered.]

[Vash hesitates on this. He’s pretty sure Legato would also rather pretend the last couple weeks didn’t happen, but still, Vash couldn’t do that. He also couldn‘t bring himself to speak it either. So after a long pause he quickly scribbles.]

Thank you.

[This post may or may not have been made from within Vash’s closet. He knows he has to go back outside at some point - even just to make sure Legato hasn’t gone on a rampage - he’s just not ready to face people yet.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Aren't you being too hard on yourself?

I hurt many people the past couple weeks, I can't easily forgive myself for that.

Well... [A pause. Your negativity isn't boding well with him.]

Look, as far as I see it, what you did to us was hardly something to get worked up about. I don't know about the rest of the people, but I'd say it's all water under the bridge now.

No, you don't understand. I hurt people.

But did they forgive you for that?

Even so, what I tried to do is unforgivable.

[... ... Oh for the love of---]

What do you want me to say? That you're a horrible person because you were thrust in a situation where you weren't thinking like yourself, and you didn't have a choice because of that?

[Yes! But he doesn't really think you want him to really answer that.]

[... Silence means yes, doesn't it?]

You're a hypocrite, you know.

[More silence!]

... Well, as far as I'm concerned, my choice is to say it's all fine and dandy, and I for one don't hold a grudge about it. If you want to wallow in self-pity about it, then I guess you could say that is your choice.

I'm just going to say this once though. [Because, really, lecturing people is tiring, but he doesn't want to deal with another episode of this in the far future and so he shall mention it now before it happens again.] If you really want to make it up to people, telling them you're a bad person who can't be forgiven won't do anything. What's past is past, and you can feel awful about it all you want, but it won't change anything. [A pause.] Besides, it's not productive, and it's not helping anyone at all. You just make yourself and the other party feel bad.

Just make sure not to do it again, and we're good. It's the other person's choice if they want or don't want to forgive you, so if you think you should have a choice when you don't, then let them have their choice when they do.

Okay.

Good. [And he'll leave it at that. As far as he's concerned, as long as Vash doesn't say anything else, the conversation is over.]

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