goldenglasses | [Accidental Voice / Action]

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[Accidental Voice / Action]

[Vash has started to keep to himself more the past couple days. Rem's arrival had almost made him forget this day, but he could never really forget.

Today he heads out early, trying to leave the new house before anyone else is awake. He finds a spot near the fountain to do some early morning people watching before getting up and heading to the bakery. He stops outside, knowing this isn't really where he wants to be, it's just habit. He turns and heads to the flower shop instead. He doesn't stay long, just long enough to make sure that everything is still running smooth without Aerith.

He checks the time to duck over to Good Spirits quickly. He wants to be there and gone before Meryl's shift. He orders a couple of beers before he starts growing restless again. This wasn't right either. What was he suppose to do on this day? How could he ever fix this mistake?

Without much thought he grabs a couple bottle and heads out into the forest. He walks for a bit before just sitting down against a tree inspecting his find. People said this blue stuff was strong, now seemed to be a good time to try it out.

Some point in his drinking his journal falls out of his pocket and starts to record. For awhile it records very little until suddenly-]

CRASH!

[There's the sound of a whiskey bottle shattering as it's thrown against a tree. It's followed by silence that is slowly broken by soft sobs.]

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I - I didn't mean to.

(ooc: Anyone who wants to talk to Vash before he gets himself drunk is free to call for him over the journals! He'll have it on him all day! Or run into him pretty much anywhere.)

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I'm sorry, Rem.

[the voice function shuts off.

but, Vash isn't left hanging long. there's the crunch of forest floor under her shoes as she finally finds him -- and before he has much time to think in his alcohol addled state, she's got her arms tightly around him in a hug, pulling his head in and to her chest.]

[Vash hears you coming. He's had to hone some pretty impressive senses in his years on Gunsmoke. He turns towards Rem, he still feels guilty as he's sure he's finally made you mad.]

Rem, I'm s- [And then he's being hugged. For a second he's too stunned to do anything. Then the tears break and he starts to cry, burring his head and shame into Rem's chest.]

[she holds him tighter, ducking her head and stifling tears of her own. this boy...]

Stop apologizing.

[her voice is quiet, a little wavering, but -- firm.]

You're a good man, Vash. Even if you have regrets... we have to keep walking forward. You determine the path you lead from here, no matter where your feet took you before. And I know you will make it one full of smiling faces, no matter how much pain has come prior.

But Rem, I... I don't deserve you, Rem. I'm - I'm so happy here with you and everyone. I... I'm not sure I want to go back. [True, there are people he misses back home, but to have to knowingly go back and never seeing Wolfwood and Rem again? Or all the other friends he's made here? To never see Sanji, Raven, or even Jack again? While Meryl and Milly are here it's too much to think about.]

How can I be so happy when I've caused so much pain and suffering? To leave them there to keep suffering while I'm so happy here?

It's okay to have doubts... don't you understand that? That's human.

[she strokes a few fingers through the hair at the back of his head soothingly.]

If you were able to handle all of this without suffering any pain or doubt or regrets, then you wouldn't learn or grow... you wouldn't be able to face the future with open arms! As much as it hurts, and as much as you might feel lost now... that isn't what matters.

What matters is where you go from here. I know you'll do the right thing. That's who are you are. [her fingers coil a bit where they're around his shoulders in red fabric.]

After all this time, you're still walking forward, even if you keep looking back.

I try Rem, but how can I do the right thing for the people I've hurt and left behind.

They aren't left behind, you big crybaby.

[she shifts her hand, to gently lift his chin up and wipe away some of his tears.]

You take them with you, wherever you go. And when you go back home, you do everything you can. We'll be right there with you. Always.

But I almost forgot them. I almost forgot what today was.

But you didn't!

But, I almost did.

Almost doesn't count! You didn't forget.

I don't think the people I hurt would see it that way.

Do you think seeing you drown yourself in alcohol would make it better in their eyes, Vash?

You didn't forget. You're in pain, and mourning... however important it is we don't leave our pasts behind, we have to remember they are our pasts. They can help shape the future, but letting them overtake them -- we can't allow that! You can't allow that.

Your pain can't overwhelm the hope and desire to change and be the good man I know you are.

No... [And he hangs his head a little like a scolded child. Deep down he knew that before he even started drinking. It was shameful. He can literally feel his chest and face burning with it.

It makes it hard to talk. So all he can find himself capable of doing as Rem continues is nod his head solemnly along.]

...Silly boy. [it's soft, as her arms wind around him again to pull him closer. there, there...]

It hurts. [she might not know what he had done, what he was grieving for... but she could sense the depth of his pain.] I know it hurts, and I'm so sorry. But you haven't forgotten, and you'll keep moving forward to create a future without this pain.

[Vash hugs back and finally lets lose everything he's been holding in and starts to sob violently into Rem's shirt.]

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! [Although this time his cries of forgiveness are not aimed towards Rem, but the millions of people that were put through a living hell because of him.]

[it wasn't his fault. she would tell him... she would say it over and over again, if only she knew.

but she doesn't, and all she can do is keep holding her boy tightly, her head ducked and letting him release his pain.]

...I am too, Vash. I'm sorry.

[He misses her apology. To wrapped up in his own crying and apologies to hear it. Eventually he's just too tired and worn out to continue and starts to settle down a little.]

[she waits til he's composed himself a little... if we can really call it that -- standing still to let him lean, and still running fingers over his back soothingly.]

...it might not feel like it right now, but... it will be okay.

How!?

Because you will keep going. Put one foot in front of the other, and take all the things that you have done and been through with you.

It all has meaning! And everything has a purpose. You walk into the future knowing you have the power to change it... and you will make it a good future, Vash! I believe that. I absolutely believe in you!

But what about all the people I hurt? How can it ever be okay for them again?

It might not ever be okay, Vash. Not in the way you want.

But they have their own futures to create. They can find happiness, and choose how to live their lives. Their fates are in their own hands, just like yours is in your own.

Have faith in them to walk forward, too.

[He has had little fate in them, hasn't he? Now that you mention it, that just seems so wrong of him to do. It's just so easy to fall into that mindset when living on such a dry and dusty planet.]

I will, Rem. From now on I will.

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LMFAO ZZ FLKSJDLKFJSFD

XD Get use to it. I love crack tags Also now I can't stop thinking of Vash stabbing Rem while crying

they are beautiful and i love them. ...well maybe he can do that one day. such a good son LOL

XD The bestest! <_< I mean... he at least tried to save her life after he did it

LMAO she was so forgiving, too. oh Vash.

That's because Rem is the best mommy EVER

awww, shucks... /toes dirt...

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