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[Vash, for some reason he couldn't explain, woke up this morning realizing he had been wasting his life. Love and peace was not the way to go. What was he ever even thinking? No, to get ahead in life one has to steal, lie, and cheat.

He starts off small. Taking random things from the living room into his bedroom. At first it's exciting, but when no one even notices the missing cookbook he realizes he'll have to try for something bigger. After stealing Wolfwood's cigarettes he starts to feel just a bit better, but he needs to think bigger.

Vash is going to attempt to steal things from all around town. Although, he's not very good at it. Seeing as he loves to boast loudly right before his theft or after. For anyone not around at the time their stuff is taken - it will be hidden somewhere in his room. And if you are home then maybe you'll hear Vash right before he breaks in.]

MUW HA HA HA! It's the perfect plan! I'll just sneak inside and steal all their batteries! They'll go nuts trying to get their things to power on! HAHAHAHHAHA! [Too bad Vash fails to check and see if there's anyone home before he goes barging in to steal an item.

Later on in the week as he feels his villain streak growing he'll at some point make his way to the roof of the grocery store.]

HAHAHA! FOOLISH MORTALS! Just you wait! Once I have learned and harnessed the powers of all the spirits within Luceti I will become UNSTOPPABLE! MUW HA HA HA! And then I will RULE this tiny village and eventually the WORLD! BUW HA HA HA HA! BUW HA! HA! HA! HA!

(OOC: Feel free heroes to either stop Vash and fight him or to be robbed! He's a villain, but not a very good one. Vash won't be stealing anything too big or important (unless you WANT him to, or if it's for comedy - say he's attempting to steal a huge fridge.) so if you want him to steal something, he'll be making a post after the event to return things. Or, just calling him stupid works too.)

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[Oh hey. That one black mage with the obscured face from his long pointy hat who's laughing at you? He sounds pretty similar to a certain Strawhat captain!]

HAHAHAHAHA! RULE US!? Are you an idiot??

Edited 2012-04-30 00:20 (UTC)

YOU DARE CALL YOUR NEW LORD AND MASTER AN IDIOT?! YOU FOOL! [Normally Vash might pick up on that familiar sounding voice, but for right now he's just too insulted!]

I DARE!? Do you have any idea what kind of powers that I wield!? I'm the strongest mage here, dummy! I bet you can't even do magic!

[Only really powerful people know how to do magic attackz.]

OF COURSE I CAN CAST MAGIC! I couldn't be a powerful ruler if I didn't! Just you watch!

[And with that, Vash begins to dance and hop around the grocery's roof.]

Hah-ch-ch-cha! Hatchahahaheheehchchche!

[OH! He's dancing up one HECK of a powerful spell here! Vash casts

CURE!

But instead of casting it on himself. He goes ahead and cures Luffy instead.]

...

...

...

...

Oh. So you are an idiot. [Was that... supposed to be like confirmation of his original idiot claim or something? He has no idea why you would cure him. Though he didn't think it was on accident.]

I AM NOT! I'M THE GREAT AND POWERFUL VASH! ALL WILL BOW DOWN TO ME!

But the only spell you even know is cure! You're not fooling anyone like that, you bastard!

Hphm! It's not my ONLY spell!

Hey! instead of trying to do something complicated like being a villain, why don't you do something simple instead? You could be a farmer or something! That'd definitely be better!

I'm no villain! I'm a ruler!

Then what's the point of ruling?

Because then I can tax people for all their money! And do whatever I want!

Okay, but what about turning everyone into mindless slaves and having them do your bidding?

Y-yeah! I was going to do that too!

[Vash, are you stealing Donatello's technomagical item-upgrading equipment?]

If you want your items upgraded, you can just ask!

[His tone is blandly cheerful, as though he won't actually try to stop you if you keep doing what you're doing. NPCs are such doormats.]

Y-YEAH! Of course you'll upgrade my items! For I am the all mighty VASH!

...what can you do about these shoes? They don't seem to be as fast as they could be.

[He'll upgrade your items because he's the item-upgrading guy. It's his only reason for being in this game.]

[He considers Vash's shoes.]

Did you bring anything I can combine them with? Maybe a Red Feather?

Hm, I have a strawberry donut and some double A batteries. OH! And some string. Will that work?

... I can try!

YES! TRY! And do not fail me servant!

[Don takes Vash's items, and some theme music plays as he goes to his apparently-still-functional equipment and engages in mysterious activities. In just a few seconds he comes back and gives a new item to Vash. He doesn't say anything, but a helpful text box pops up to explain what this is.]

You got a HOVER DONUT! Use it to distract your enemies and escape from battle.

Edited 2012-05-01 01:59 (UTC)

AHAHAHAHA! A HOVER DONUT! It's perfect! No will stand against me with this! [Even if it is made to run away, SHUT UP! It's really going to come in handy for him.]

[No reaction to that outburst.]

Would you like me to combine any more items?

Um, I'm not sure I have anything more. Wait here. I'll go steal some stuff. [I hope you weren't expecting Vash to PAY for anything.]

[Nope. The only cost of Donatello's service is the chance your items might get turned into something useless.]

[As for waiting, he'll be here, walking around his living room in jerky pacing movements.]

[Vash returns with several TV remotes, a flower vase, a book, a hairbrush, and several dishes.] What can you do with these?

Which items would you like to combine?

All of them! [Because if you use everything it will make it better!]

[Okay then! Don takes the items, the theme music plays, and a text box pops up as he hands the result to Vash.]

You got a SCRAP METAL! It isn't good for anything.

Hey! This isn't going to help me with anything! Do it right this time!

[In exactly the same tone as before:]

Would you like me to combine any more items?

I want you to fix THIS mess first!

What should I combine it with?

[Obviously he can't do anything with just one item.]

Take this apart and put it together RIGHT this time!

[Blank look. That isn't a valid command.]

Ugh... okay! Use uh... [Hold on, rummaging around your place.] This! [He hands over a hammer he found.] And fix this! [And pushing the scrap metal closer.]

[Items, theme music, text box.]

You got a STRONG HAMMER! Use it to flatten enemies and smash through obstacles.

Edited 2012-05-16 02:17 (UTC)

AHH! Now THAT is much more useful!

[No response to this. Don just makes the items.]

[Huh? Is that a clock? Don't mind Vash as he starts looking in it for items. Oh! And there's a box! Maybe there's treasure in there!]

[Just standing around while you raid his house. He would even combine some of those items if you asked him to.]

Edited 2012-05-24 22:34 (UTC)

Oh! GOLD! [That's his now.]

[Although he also finds himself an alarm clock, an old sword, a potion, and an dented tin cup. He dumps his new "treasures" on Don's desk.] What can you do with these?

[After another round of theme music and scripted movements:]

You got a TOY SWORD! Makes fun noises but doesn't do much damage.

What!? What am I suppose to do with this?!

[Sorry, not his job. Figure it out yourself.]

I suggest you make something more USEFUL peasant. I will remember this when I become ruler.

Are you on a quest?

I suppose a simple mind such as yourself could call it a quest. But quests can be failed, this is just ordained to happen. For one day soon I shall conquer all of this land known as Luceti!

[He shrugs.] Most people seem to succeed in their quests. It's like there's something special about them. They can't fail.

That is good news indeed. Because my quest will not fail.

Not with fine equipment like that. [If he does say so himself.]

Why thank you my good sir! I think I'll let you live to be a slave when I take over!

[He kind of already is. But sure.]

Fear not future slave! The day is soon! Prepare yourself for it! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! [With that Vash runs off cackling into the distance.]

[Naoki is kind of chilling in convenient shadows (as thieves are wont to do) and-- Vash, what are you doing sneaking into that place. You're worse at stealing than he is.

Maybe he'll give him some friendly stealing advice. He'll just wait by this doorway for Vash to come out of the house he just snuck in.]

[Vash wanders out casually, munching on a ham sandwich. What was he in that house for again? Oh well! His stomach is happy and that's all that matters!

[FROM THE SHADOWS...] ...did you go in there to steal a sandwich?

Oh, actually I went in for something else but I got hungry.

... [Presses fingers between his eyebrows.]

Y'know, one of the first things with stealing...always keep your mind focused on what you're going in for...

I was COMPLETELY focused! The fridge just happened to be my first stop is all!

...you know, with stealing, you're not supposed to make "stops". Just, you know, in and out. Get what you came for...

HA! As future ruler of Luceti I can make all the stops I please

[.........]

That's pretty ambitious. And a pretty sought-after title, y'know... [All the villains and whatnot. Naoki's p. happy being just your run-of-the-mill fail!thief.]

Well, that's the only way I know how to be! Ambitious!

You're gonna attract all the wrong kinds of attention that way, though. Have good guys flying at you from every angle.

That's okay! I'll get them out of the way faster! They won't stand a chance!

Hmm... Are you sure you can?

Of course I can! Don't you know who I am? I am the great! The powerful! The deadly.

VASH THE STAMPEEEEEEEE-DA!

Vash the Stampeeda? [Grinning.]

Hey. Only I'm allowed to drag it out like that. [He's the only one who knows how to do it and make it sound "cool".]

It loses any scary effect when you drag it out, though, [he teases.]

Not when I do it! You don't do it right!

Edited 2012-05-18 15:09 (UTC)

Sorry, did I not do it loud enough? [hee hee]

Not even CLOSE!

My most sincere apologies, for messing it up so bad.

Good, you should apologies. I think I'll kill you quickly when I take over. No! I'll do even better than that! You can be one of my personal slaves.

No, thanks. I'm not very keen on either idea...

That's alright, when you have a ruler you don't get to choose. I do it for you!

I'm not into having a ruler so much, sad to say.

That's okay. You don't get to choose that either.

...

Do I get to choose anything?

Nope! That's the beauty of it! I tell you when to do everything! Sleep, eat, breath, work, and everything!

... No thanks.

No, choice remember?

Nah, always got a choice. [DOOP DOOP starting to walk away...]

[Vash raises his voice, but not bothering to stop Naoki from walking away. That would be doing something useful and productive.] NOT WHEN I RULE!

YOU AREN'T RULING YET. [Shouted over one shoulder and then Naoki DISSOLVES INTO SHADOWS or something else thiefy.]

YEAH! WELL! YOU SHOULD GET- [Whoa... that's a cool trick!]

[Look! A boy in a rather cool black cloak!]

You? Our ruler? HAH! I doubt you can rule your way out of a box!

I could SO rule my way out of that box AND rule it too!

I highly doubt it.

Well don't doubt for much longer! FOR SOON IT WILL BE A REALITY!

I will keep on doubting! You're not the only aspiring ruler around here!

I may not be the only one, but I will be the only one who will top them all!

While I'll just watch and laugh when you ultimately fail!

You will watch and then you will bow!

You can't make me!

Oh, yes I can.

Oh, no you can't.

HAHAHHAHA! Oh, you simpleton! You don't dare want me to show you JUST what I can do!

Oh, but I do dare, you foolish weakling!

Don't think I'll go easy on you peasant!

I am no peasant, but an overlord!

HA! In your dreams! You could never be an overlord. For there can only be one and that is ME!

All I see before me is a pitiful, foolish insect! A man like you will never be a true overlord!

Then I think you need to have your eyes check. As I only see one insect here and it's not me.

Now why would I believe you, when you are clearly the insect here?

No I'm not. You are!

No, you are! [...Kouki, are you seriously getting into this argument.]

YOU are!

You are!

No! You are!

Nuh uh, you are!

No way! YOU are!

We'll never get anywhere like this.

...Also, it's you who is the insect.

I'm no insect! I'm the future ruler of Luceti, yo insect!

The day you are the ruler is the day I eat my headphones!

I'll let you borrow my fork.

Which will be a wasted effort for you.

I dunno, sounds like fun to me.

So when it turns out I won't eat them, can I keep your folk?

Well, I'll be ruler then. So it will either be eat them or die at that point.

[snrk] How amusing that you think I'll die.

True, maybe I'll keep you around as an example for those who oppose me.

Or when I become the ruler, I could keep you around as an amusing pet.

Heh, if you're trying to say you want to be a pet, just come out and say it.

Nope. I say you should be my pet.

Well, that won't be happening Fido so just get use to the idea of being my dog from now on!

Sure thing, Pochi. We shall see by the end of this.

DON'T CALL YOUR LORD AND MASTER POCHI, FIDO!

THE KING OF BEL CAN CALL HIS SERVANTS HOWEVER HE WISH, POCHI.

YOU WILL NOT BE THE KING OF BEL!

Besides, this is Luceti, soon to be renamed Vash Land. Not Bel.

Vash Land sound ridiculous. I say the Land of Bel is superior.

Vash Land is going to be ten times better than Land of Bel.

Nuh uh, Land of Bel will be the best of them all.

Best of the crap names maybe.

Land of Bel isn't a crappy name, unlike Vash Land the Stupid.

WHAT!? No! That's not how you say it!

Yep, but it's more fitting that way.

IS NOT! Not at least unless you're adding it to your stupid world's name that's too stupid to even bother to remember!

Land is Bel is far more memorable than Vash Land! Unless your memory's incredibly poor, Pochi.

Is not! Fido.

Fido, Fido, Fido, Fido.

Hm, Fido is more of a dog's name. But you sure do fit the part of parrot pretty well!

The King of Bel is no parrot!

And a dog should deserve a dog's name. Unless you prefer Pochi?

Fine, fine. You can go back to being a dog. Just don't say I never treated my pets kindly.

[And ignoring your question about the name.]

You didn't answer my question, Pochi.

[Lalala. Ignoring you. He's too busy picking at his ear.]

[Just.

Watchin' you over here.

With this face. Whatthefuck.]

I can't even tell if this is a shift or not.

YOU! MINION! Help me to spread fear into these people if you ever want to see your cigarettes again!

I already have my cigarettes, but even then, don't you touch them unless you want a foot up your ass. What the hell are you rattling on about over here, needle noggin?

YOU DARE TO SPEAK TO YOUR FUTURE RULER IN SUCH A WAY!?

... Yeah, I kinda do.

What the hell are you hollering about? People don't need to hear your loud obnoxious commands while they're shopping and trying to go about their day.

I'm hollering to let these peasants know who their future world ruler will be!

... Yeah, unlikely. Sorry Vash, but they could kick your scrawny pale ass halfway across the world.

I'm guessing there's a shift going on that's making you act weird. Again.

[You really gotta stop doing this to me, man.]

HA! I'd like to see them try! I could take them all on with my magic! They won't stand a chance!

... They could probably blow you to smithereens.

Ha! They would be able to even put a scratch on me!

... Y'know what? Go ahead and go around telling people that.

We'll see if you're right.

I know I'm right!

[so so casually - ]

Come crying to me when you aren't.

And don't you be crying when I put you to work in the mines for that insult!

... Do we even have mines here?

[:|a]

I'll have you make some just so you can work in them first.

Not in a million years, needle noggin.

[He's just gonna wave and wander off.]

Nnnnot in a million. See you at the bar later, whenever that is.

[Hey! Hey wait! Don't walk away and make him get off this roof!]

Hey you! Get back here!

Nope! Enjoy being an evil overlord!

[har har har

also hope you have a sturdy ladder]

GET BACK HERE YOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooou!

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