goldenglasses | [Accidental Voice]

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[Accidental Voice]

["A word in my defense, Captain. Apples seem to be very popular this time of year."

He knew this dream. He knew it as more than a dream. A memory. The way the kids bit into the apples he bought instead of the ice cream they had demanded. Those young lives so full of energy and life. They had been so kind. Looking out for each other and the people who lived in the city with them.

It was a good city. It had been a great city. One of the largest on the planet. Filled with so many different lives and voices. He had played with those kids and they had so easily welcomed him into their group. What had he done for them in return?

"Oh. Hey, Vash."

What had he done in return?]

[A green eyed cat watches as her pet tosses and turns in his bed. He was usually so quiet when he slept that this was all just a bit unnerving to her. She tries a few meows to try to wake him, but it fails and she moves to jump onto him. Only as Kuroneko jumps from the desk to the bed Vash's journal falls to the floor. It shows nothing but the darken floor, but the audio picks up everything for those up early around 3am.

It starts off with unintelligible moaning. The very keen ears might be able to pick up a few words like: Stop. Light. And jumbled pleading. It grows in intensity and volume until suddenly the mutter stops and instead breaks into a scream.]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHHHHHHH! GRAHHHHAAAH! NOT AGAIN! PLEASE NOT AG- [The scream cuts off as Vash fully awakens. Unable to catch his breath and breathing rapidly for a moment before the sounds of his feet hit the floor and they go running off out of the room followed by a door being slammed open. The audio goes quiet after that until Vash is finished emptying his stomach and returns to his room. Crying softly as he does.

Alert him to his open journal? Or for those who would rather speak to Vash in person the next day he'll be people watching at the fountain. Only lacking his usual cheerful smile and lost in distant thought as he sits on the fountain's edge.]

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[Any other day that might have had Vash laughing shyly and scratching his head. Tonight with the memories bouncing around in his head it doesn't bring him as much joy. How would Abel feel if he knew the truth of what he done?] I really appreciate that, I do, but I'm not sure you'd still feel that way if you really knew me and what I've done.

.... Vash.

I don't know you that well, we did just meet and everything. But I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character. I'd like to say that I think you're a good person, and that what you've done in the past doesn't change who you are now.

[He's quiet for a few minutes. It's advice he's given to others in the past. That no matter what has happened in the past it's never too late to start over. How easy it is to say those sorts of things, but how hard to follow it.]

Maybe. But it still doesn't change what I've done and I wouldn't blame you if you changed your opinion if you knew.

I'm not going to ask what you did. If you want to tell me, you're welcome to, but that's entirely up to you.

But I promise, I don't think anything you tell me is going to make me change my opinion of you.

[For a few moments Vash is quiet as he takes a sip of his ginger ale. Wishing it was something a bit stronger.] Back home there- [No, that didn't feel like the right way to start.] What I did-- [Is blurting out I destroyed a city really the best way either?] The 21st of July is a painful day for the people of my world. It's the day one of our biggest cities was destroyed. Leaving over a million people without shelter or food on a desert plant. In the end, very few survived.

[What's you're name? Vash? That's a funny name!] And those people. They had been so kind. [He says it all quickly as he stares down hard at his left hand. Unable to bring himself to look at Abel's face or his right arm.]

[Abel is silent for a while. He really... had no room to judge. He could feel Vash's pain from here, how much it hurt him to repeat that. How much it hurt him to tell him everything. He pulled his hands into his lap and laced his fingers together, sighing softly]

Thank you for telling me.

But... my thoughts on you still stand. I still think you are a good person, Vash. Though there's nothing I can say to make this any better, you should know that I don't hate you for it.

[If only Vash was telling Abel everything. Although this was a step towards that. Perhaps his very first year in Luceti he would have kept completely quiet. This place had taught him a hard lesson that sometimes being open is better here.]

But how? How could anyone not be angry and hate me for what I've done? All those lives who are gone now, who had people who loved them... [He trails off. Afraid that his train of thought might insult Abel a bit. It wasn't fair, was it? To those people left alive that Vash the Stampede still runs free and making friends while they lost the people close to them.]

... I know someone a lot like you, actually.

[Abel settled down on the couch, resting his hands on his lap and lacing his fingers together]

His story is very similar to yours. He doesn't know how he'll ever be forgiven, he doesn't know how everyone doesn't hate him. He's done terrible things too.

... But if he gives up and decides to just punish himself instead of moving on, the people who honestly need his help will never get it, and he'll never earn the repentance he wants so dearly. Don't forget them, Vash. Never forget them, take them with you where ever you go, but don't let it shackle you.

Yeah... I know... the future is a blank ticket and it's up to me to get somewhere with it. I know I can't stop. [As badly as he may want a peaceful life he has learned that he can not have that until he deals with his brother. He owed the people of July that at least.

Vash runs his hand through his hair as he takes a couple quiet minutes to stare at the cross leaning against the wall. He knew priests probably heard a lot of awful stories, but he was a little hazy on how much they could share of those stories. Not much is what he thought and Luceti had a habit of dragging in a lot of people who had it even worse than he did.] So, priests are also lawmen where you're from, right? Does that mean you still hold confessions where a guy can talk without fear of being judged, but forgiven instead? Or do you just take them to jail at that point?

We still listen to confession all the time without judging. That's what we do, it's fine if you want to tell me more, Vash. I won't tell anyone what you said, and I won't judge you for it. Like I said, what I think of you is pretty much set in stone by this point.

Hm. [Vash notes that away. That at least with his secrets, Abel would keep quiet. Although that made Vash wonder even more if Abel had just been talking about himself. Part of him would like to ask the priest more about it, but now just didn't seem like the time.] Well, I suppose I should let you know then that I'm kind of a wanted man back home. Sure it won't look back for a lawman to have an outlaw as a friend?

Well then, I guess I should tell you that we have a convict for a priest. He's on our payroll to help him lessen his sentence. His name is Leon, we're pretty good friends.

I suppose that's one way to avoid jail time. Nice to hear the priest-ly-hood is still big on finding ways to forgive people. [He would never ask for forgiveness, but he's always glad to hear that other people can find it. Slowly his fake smile is coming back to try to hide away the pain he's feeling.]

[Being the master of fake smiles, he knows one when he sees one. He pats the couch next to him, smiling gently]

Why don't you sit down for a while, you look exhausted.

Just a little bit. [He sits himself down on the couch.] I must admit this time of year sleep and myself rarely see eye to eye.

It's alright, I understand.

[Vash gets a comforting clap on the shoulder, Abel figuring he wouldn't be up for hugs]

I'll hang around here until you feel better.

Thanks, but you really don't need to. I don't mean to keep people up. You could use your sleep.

I'm used to working long nights, besides I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow.

[Vash hums to himself. He really doesn't want to be a bother, but he wants to be alone even less. Finally he relents.] Well, I suppose we should do something instead of just sitting and not sleeping. I have a pack of cards, do you want to play something?

Cards sounds like fun, we could play some cards. What games are you good at? I know a few.

I mostly know poker games, but I also know how to play go fish and rummy.

Well I don't have anything to gamble with, so rummy it is.

Rummy it is then. I'll grab my cards. [And thus they spent the night playing cards. Until one of them passes out from lack of sleep. Likely it'll be Vash.]

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[Accidental Voice]

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