goldenglasses | [Accidental Voice]

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[Accidental Voice]

["A word in my defense, Captain. Apples seem to be very popular this time of year."

He knew this dream. He knew it as more than a dream. A memory. The way the kids bit into the apples he bought instead of the ice cream they had demanded. Those young lives so full of energy and life. They had been so kind. Looking out for each other and the people who lived in the city with them.

It was a good city. It had been a great city. One of the largest on the planet. Filled with so many different lives and voices. He had played with those kids and they had so easily welcomed him into their group. What had he done for them in return?

"Oh. Hey, Vash."

What had he done in return?]

[A green eyed cat watches as her pet tosses and turns in his bed. He was usually so quiet when he slept that this was all just a bit unnerving to her. She tries a few meows to try to wake him, but it fails and she moves to jump onto him. Only as Kuroneko jumps from the desk to the bed Vash's journal falls to the floor. It shows nothing but the darken floor, but the audio picks up everything for those up early around 3am.

It starts off with unintelligible moaning. The very keen ears might be able to pick up a few words like: Stop. Light. And jumbled pleading. It grows in intensity and volume until suddenly the mutter stops and instead breaks into a scream.]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHHHHHHH! GRAHHHHAAAH! NOT AGAIN! PLEASE NOT AG- [The scream cuts off as Vash fully awakens. Unable to catch his breath and breathing rapidly for a moment before the sounds of his feet hit the floor and they go running off out of the room followed by a door being slammed open. The audio goes quiet after that until Vash is finished emptying his stomach and returns to his room. Crying softly as he does.

Alert him to his open journal? Or for those who would rather speak to Vash in person the next day he'll be people watching at the fountain. Only lacking his usual cheerful smile and lost in distant thought as he sits on the fountain's edge.]

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[Sadly, it's not until after his rush to the bathroom that he hears her message.] Yeah. Thanks. I know where I am now. [Because he does appreciate the message. If he hadn't needed to vomit it would have been what he needed to hear.] Sorry for waking you.

You didn't wake me. I am just awake later tonight. What is it that's bothering you, dear?

It was just a bad dream about something from my home.

Would tea help settle you down? Or some food? I've been baking...

[The idea of food at the moment makes his stomach flip just slightly.] I really appreciate the offer, but I've never been a big tea drinker and I'm afraid I'm not really hungry at the moment. Thank you for the offer it's very kind.

[He wonders how bad it was to refuse a gift or offering from a god.]

That's up to you. I find it helps me quell nightmares, much the same as warm milk might too.

[A verbal shrug, really.]

If you ever want to talk about it...I'll listen, though.

Edited 2014-08-03 00:45 (UTC)

[What he really wanted was to July be removed from his mind. For it to have never happened at all, but changing the past was impossible. The people of July must never be forgotten.] There is anniversary of a terrible accident approaching soon. You could say it's just been on my mind a bit.

Do...you mind if I ask about it?

I don't mind, but... it might not be something you really wish to hear. There is no happy ending and there were millions that suffered and died that day.

[He won't say what else he fears from telling the story. That she may think of him as a monster. Vash keeps that fear to himself as it was up to Saori to decide for herself if she wanted to know the details.]

If it's a story you're willing to tell, then I'll listen.

[As far as she's concerned, Vash isn't a monster. He may be a fool, but he's no monster and never will be.]

Is this something you'd rather discuss in person?

No, it's fine. It won't be the first time I've told it over the journals. [And this way Saori could slam the book shut if she wished.]

The world I've come from, it's not a great place to live if I'm being honest. It's nothing but desert with two suns. It's took a long time, but eventually the people of that dusty world eventually managed to build a large and beautiful city. It was named July and it full of very kind people.

[She quiets down and listens, of course, not wanting to interrupt.]

On the twenty first of July at six minutes after two in the afternoon, that city of millions was instantly wiped off the planet. No one died in the blast, but that was over a million people without homes, food, or water on a desert planet with the next nearest town days walk away.

Very few people survived the destruction of July. Back home we call that event: The Lost City of July.

How did this blast remove all the food and water without hurting anyone?

[Does not compute...]

I... I-- I honestly don't know. [~~As the manga wasn't so kind.~~] I wish I did. In the end they still died.

That makes very little sense...but okay.

Who caused it and why?

It--

...I did it. [He swallows hard and waits for some sort of a disgusted or shocked reaction before continuing. At least that is what he's expecting from anyone who would hear something like that.]

No such reaction comes. Saori is quiet for a long, tense moment. It's a little hard to swallow, that Vash could do something like that at all. He'd been so set against killing the enemy on the draft. But then she'd wondered why. Now at least she had a clue.

"Why?" She finally asks, tone mild.

[The silence was almost worse than having her shout in surprise or anger.]

It was a mistake. That day-- [No. It didn't matter that his brother had been there. That part of the how and why didn't matter. The only part that did was-] I lost control and because of that many people died.

Mortals die. That is the way of things, as fast as she's concerned.

"And what caused you to lose control? There must have been a catalyst."

I-- [He rubs at his right arm subconsciously.] Something. Something got triggered and I couldn't control it. [He doesn't like to talk about that day. More than that he hates talking about the things that make him clearly not human. Mixing the two together was hard as he struggled to find a balance of what he owed to those who lost their lives to tell this story and what he felt comfortable admitting.]

Another pause, another thought, her voice still detached.

"And is this trigger something you knew about?"

Not before that moment.

"Is it something you have mastered since?"

[For a long time Vash is silent. Debating with himself on the answer. Had he mastered it? He certainly was in much more control than that day, but after seeing what his brother could do with his power?]

No. I haven't mastered it, but it's under a lot more control since that day.

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