goldenglasses | [Voice]

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[Voice]

[Vash has been putting this off. Someone he doesn’t trust, taking him, and poking at him leaves a bad taste in his mouth; but with Knives here…]

[Filtered to John // 100% Unhackable]

I need to speak to you.

[Filtered to Wolfwood and Meryl // 100% Unhackable]

Where are you? I need to talk to you.

[Filtered to Knives // 100% Unhackable]

…

[Yeah? What were you going to say to him? Behave while I’m gone?]

[End Filter]

[After business has been taken care of and he’s talked to those he needed to, Vash heads out into the forest aiming for a river. It’s long past time to intensify his training with the spirits. For those who have gotten to know happy and laid back Vash - this is not him. He’s taking this training with Sona very serious right now and isn’t very chatty. His glasses are on.]

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[funny thing about Ginko-- he presses differently when the motivation is concern than curiosity. He's more willing to let one go, than the other-- with slow-wearing patience.]

You were a pretty sensitive kid.

I get the feeling you would've had a different kind of urgency, if the Knives you were looking for was already bent on destroying humankind.

[Don't mind Vash as in inwardly groans. You're not going to drop this are you?] He wasn't like that at first.

No? [quietly. It might as well be the answer, as well. "No"-- he isn't. Not with this many pieces. He can still remember that woman, too... with the long black hair. Here and gone again.]

No. [Remember that squeezing water from a rock? Got to ask the right questions and that one is way too vague. Vash is just going to stare at the water, avoiding eye contact.]

[Ginko turns, slightly, watching his face.]

Was he like you, then?

--Excited to meet them?

[Vash's head lowers a fraction thinking about it. They had been so happy before; what had happened?] Yes, he was. [Maybe even more.]

What did they do, to change his mind? [That was Moro's reason. Ratatosk's. Nearly every case he'd come across. Knives made it pretty clear, himself.]

I don't know. [He really doesn't. There was Steve he supposes, but everyone else in the crew had been so nice. Could that one person had really scared Knives so badly that he'd condemn the whole race? Was it because they had destroyed their old planet? But that had been a mistake, one they were going to make sure not to do again. And now there was this Tessla girl. Vash didn't even know who she was, but she was someone obviously very close to Knives and apparently himself... not that he remembers.]

But it doesn't seem likely to change back. [...testing]

Everyone can change. [Not that he puts much hope in that sentence right now.]

[Ginko turns to face him, noting that tone. Just... considering, for a space.]

Yeah. I think that's true.

[everyone can. And there's something he thinks he knew intuitively before, that is becoming almost painfully articulate in Luceti. So he says it out loud.]

But the truth is too heavy for most people to carry-- isn't it?

[Because... if you always bore in mind that every action was a choice, and that every living thing with a choice could change

--what kind of life would you have to live, then?]

It is. Sometimes I wonder how people can still keep going when the truth can be so heavy to bear sometimes. How they can keep getting up each day for the rest of their lives when they have so much pain to face?

[still looking at him, with an odd sort of fixedness] They don't.

Because that would be too much; to know the evil people are capable of in reality. And to know that every one of them still has a choice-- to remember that, all the time. [he shifts, remembering things. His own experiences]

And so one gets left by the wayside; and it becomes more important what an individual is likely to do-- than what they are capable of doing.

Because you can't kill a man, looking at him and thinking of all the things he could be.... can you?

[Vash stares softly at the water. That's part of it, but mostly-] No one has the right, to take the life of another. [-it's because it's what Rem would have wanted.]

Maybe not. [a slow exhale.] But people do.

And once that right is violated, it shapes the world.

[Vash is quiet. Only letting out a soft, tired sigh and shutting his eyes. These conversations always tend to go the same way.]

[He knows. But it isn't really where his thoughts are.... as if that mattered. Quietly-]

There just aren't many people like you, Vash.

It's too much for most to carry.

[He opens his eyes again.] Then they just need a little help.

[levelly] What, are you going to carry it for them?

[YES. You haven't seen Vash without his shirt on, have you?] We all need help now and then, don't we?

Yeah. [it's about what he imagines your heart must look like-- so maybe it wouldn't surprise him.]

...so who's strong enough to carry you?

[Meryl. She's the person who pops into his head without even any effort, but he tries to shove the idea away. No. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to shoulder the weight he's taken up. It wasn't hers to suffer under. She deserved to live a happy, peaceful life. With someone she could grow old with. Not a life were every day you're left wondering who will take a shot at you next.

Meryl... Milly... Wolfwood...

They had all come after him when he had tried so hard so hard to leave them behind. It had been so long since anyone had chased after him for no other reason then they cared. They had all tried to help carry his weight with him. And Wolfwood had died for it.

After a long pause Vash finally speaks.]

I'm alright. [No one should have to carry the weight he's chosen to pick up. They had their own lives to live.]

[he almost stares, even though he should have expected it, by your track record] You really are an idiot.

-- do you think you can spend your whole life touching other lives, and expect that answer to satisfy people? [-- it uh. Would be great if Ginko could take his own advice on this one, but that's beside the point and far from mind.]

[Vash ducks his head, rubbing the back of his neck, and puts on a small, awkward smile.] M-maybe I am an idiot, but I'm alright. Really. [So don't worry about him! See! He's mister happy! He's ALWAYS happy! Why don't you people BELIEVE that!? You have enough to worry about already without him!]

[Ginko's to used to being outside of the you people, with their shared difficulties; weaknesses; strengths-- to take that line.

But you're like arguing with a force of nature-- and he's done that enough to know when it's pointless to disagree. So he looks at the water and speaks like he's talking to himself]

I wonder how many people believe you. [a sidelong glance and a half smile] You do sure smile a lot.

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[ action ] This tag took forever. |D I'm not as worldly and smart with words as Vash should be

[ action ] pfff don't be silly... Ginko IS really pushing for something, too

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