goldenglasses | [Action / Accidental Voice]

Did you seriously just scream IIIEEEEEE over the journal, like a little girl?

[This response is a little delayed as he's busy ~~getting his back broken~~ calming down some people.] That wasn't me!

You mean that was an actual girl?...

What the hell is wrong with you! Who goes around making girls scream! Geez. Have some standards will ya. [So hypocritical I know.]

I didn't do it on purpose.

[Glare.]

You look like the kind of guy who would.

Ughhhhhhhhhhh. This isn't my body!

Then who are you?

I'm Vash.

[Whoa, what? He didn't see that one coming.]

Seriously? Prove it then.

This world is made of love and peace. [So unenthusiastic right now.]

[I do not have enough unamused icons xD]

Riiiiiight... It's also filled with sarcasm. Do you have to be such a downer? I heard Vash cursing over the journals earlier anyway.

Were there any other voices?! Was he hurting anyone!? [Because Vash is concerned about his roommates and hasn't had a chance to check the journals himself.]

[Yup, now he knows you're Vash after that little spurt.]

No idea! I wasn't paying much attention. But, I didn't hear any women screaming, so I think you're in the clear for now.

Ugh, if he's hurt anyone in my body... fucking Malnosso.

Well, if he's having as much trouble with my body as I am with him, Wolfwood should be able to handle him. [REVENGE FOR KILLING HIM! Enjoy that eye Yuber.]

If he injures your body, then you're going to be the one to have to deal with the reprocussions.

I know that. So he better behave in it.

No, no, you're missing the point.

Who says you have to behave in HIS body?

Because it will hurt me if I was to hurt it right now. And I think I'm going to have enough trouble with people wanting to kill me for thinking I'm him.

The effects aren't permanent though, you'll probably end up reverting at some point. So wouldn't it be a good idea to you know, lock him up somewhere he can't do much good?

Well, evil. You get the idea.

Edited 2010-11-23 17:06 (UTC)

I thought about that, but I'd rather find him right now and be sure he's not causing trouble in my body.

Then he'll be where you last were, or in that general area at least.

I've figured that out. It's why I'm trying to get home. [Stupid human, give him some credit.]

[Nooo being stupid is what he does best!]

Well you could've fooled me. Let me guess, you got lost and ended up in a womans bedroom? Yeah, definitely sounds like you're going home.

What's to say you won't get attacked before you get there anyway?

I teleported from the mountains. I'm exactly use to magic. My aim was a bit off.

Tsk. And seeing how stupidly loud this idiot is when he causes problems I probably will be attacked. [He's not looking forward to that.]

So rude.

With all the commotion going on thanks to this experiment, most of the people you're going to cross paths with more than likely won't even recognize you.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Why? That's a good thing! They're not going to attack you.

You're right. They'll think they're attacking Yuber.

Not if they don't have their memories! They'll just see you as some random guy, there's the chance they won't recognize Yuber at all.

That's stupid. Why wouldn't they have their memories?

You tell me. Not one of my housemates has recognized me so far, so don't be so hasty to cry stupidity. It's this experiment, clearly.

...are you the wrong gender or something? That's been going around. People forgetting what gender they're suppose to be.

There's also people de-aging and coming from alternate timelines. Those people have memory issues too.

Me though? I'm fine. I remember everything.

Uh-huh, I'm sure.

How many other people remember your stay here the same way you do?

One does, from a different world to me too! The other's don't even know my name, I haven't said it.

So, only one other person remembers you, out of everyone else? So you think everyone else has been changed, and not you?

I didn't say I hadn't been changed. If I was still the way you remember me, you would've recognized me already!

Oh? Then who are you?

That's not important.

The point is, not everyone is gonna remember Yuber. You should be able to get home without a hitch.

Yes, and maybe when this is done the Malnosso will send us all home.

[Well, someone else's been on a trip to the mountains already - there was someone she wanted to check on there, after all. With that stupid experiment going on right now, she couldn't really use the journal to do that; the last thing she needed was Noel catching on once this was over with.

...And after her conversation with a certain someone not too long ago? She's just going to hurry a little more.

Naturally, sooner or later she'll spot the demon wandering around, but for now, she opts not to say anything for obvious reasons. Rather, she just cautiously observes from afar.

Hi, Vash, there's a blond Murakumo staring at you.]

Edited 2010-11-23 15:39 (UTC)

[Well, Vash doesn't notice as you walk up. He's too busy ranting, in fact, you'll probably hear him before you see him.] YUBER!? YUBER!? Out of everyone in Luceti it had to be fucking YUBER!? No! No! No! No! NO! Ughhhhh, I don't WANT to be Yuber! I want my own body baaaaaaack!

...wait. If I'm in his body that means... oh shit! That bastard is in my apartment! I don't even know where I am! Oh god... what if he figures out how to use- [Wait - his I'm being watched sense is kicking in. Spinning around to face you.]

Noel?! What are you doing up here!?

[Icon? Inner reaction only. She could've done without ever hearing that.]

[Ahem. Okay, it's... pretty obvious he's not who he looks like. Even Noel should notice that. So...]

Um... I-is everything all right? [Not scared at all, this one. It's really easy to tell that this isn't actually Yuber. ~~Not that it'd matter to her anyway, but hey.~~]

NO! Everything is NOT all right! I'm stuck in this body! It's me! Vash!

...Vash?! [What. What. No way. How can that be? Are people swapping bodies?! That's terrible!

...Hah. As if she actually thought that. But she can't very well say that she already knew, can she?]

Yes. Vash.

...what are you doing up here?

I-I wanted to talk to one of the Filial spirits. [Not a complete lie, but not the whole truth, either.]

...You really shouldn't tell people that you switched with him. [It's obvious enough even if he doesn't do that, anyway.]

Are you nuts!? And let people try to stab me as soon as they see me?! And no telling what he's doing with my body!

B-but what if they attack your body instead?!

[As long as that teleportation ability still works, he's gonna be fine, but if Vash's body gets killed while the swap is still going on... Who knows what'd happen. It's not a risk she wants to take.]

He could be down there attacking my roommates! [Vash doesn't even want to THINK what could happen if he figure out how to activate the angel arm.]

B-but...! [Look what you did, Vash. Look what you did. She's wibbling. Way to go.]

Please stop crying. [It's annoying and unhelpful.]

But... [Sigh. Give her a moment.

...Okay, there we go.]

...W-what if he's killed while in your body? [Neither of them would want that. She's... fairly certain about that.]

Then I'm tossing his body in the tunnels so I know where to go to smash his face in when we get back to normal.

...Huh? [Please please please tell her she just misheard you, Vash.]

He's not so tough without his magic and teleporting. If he dares hurt anyone I know then I'll be sure he pays when he can feel it.

... [She doesn't respond to that. Instead? She's just going to walk past Vash.]

[...Only to stop just a liiiittle bit behind him.

And hit the very same spot where his left wing is with her hand. Not hard enough to cause any permanent harm, but given the sensitivity of the wings, it's probably still going to hurt.]

[What are you doing? Guess she's done talking and is going to go talk to the spirits. Good, because Vash needs to figure out how to get back to the village and quick-OWWWWWWW! Now he'll be jumping away and spinning around to face you, because - what the hell!?]

What the fuck was that for!?

Geez... Don't you always say that killing is wrong? This really isn't like you.

[There may be something a little off about her tone as she says that. It sounds a bit... different from how Noel normally speaks.]

[Vash tenses, because that's not like Noel either.]

I didn't say I was going to kill him. Just make him pay for hurting my friends if he gets the bright idea to. [Which also isn't like Vash. Ahh, experiments.]

[ ... ]

By attacking him in the tunnels, huh?

Smacking him in the face a few times won't kill him.

It's cowardly. [Not to mention that she knows the tunnels aren't healthy for him. Attacking him there could very well lead to someone trying to lock him up. Again.]

And attacking someone and then teleporting away isn't?

He can't do that right now, right? [Your argument is invalid, Vash. INVALID.]

But he can once he gets his body back.

Of course. That's why you find a way to deal with it. [One that doesn't involve moving him to the tunnels while he's stuck in a different body.]

And my way is to throw him in the tunnels. Considering how much he goes after Nami, I'm surprise you're not telling me to go do it right now.

...unless you're not Noel. [Vash, actually has a very high IQ.]

I-I know, but... I really don't think this is the right thing to do. [She honestly doesn't. Moving him into the tunnels without him being able to do anything about it in order to fight him there doesn't seem right to her.

And yes, she's blantantly ignoring that last statement. Come on, Vash. She looks the same, her voice's the same and honestly. Would this expression lie? You know it wouldn't.]

[Vash is quiet. He can't really be sure. Why didn't she deny his accusal that she wasn't Noel? Maybe she knew it was a pointless fight? Or maybe she really wasn't Noel. Either way, Vash couldn't be sure.]

Hmmph, that's why I'll do it if he attacks my friends. Until then I just want to watch to make sure he doesn't. I'm not about to go sit and wait in the tunnels while he runs around hurting my friends.

[Bah. It's a small improvement, at least.]

...A-all right. But... don't do anything to anger him, okay? [After all, the last thing Vash needs is to have the demon try to kill him again once they switch back because he did something stupid, right?

...Hmm.]

[Vash snorts.] I'm sure that jerk is already pissed.

Then... Just don't make it any worse, okay? [ ... ]

I don't think I can. Except getting myself killed.

That's not what I...

...n-nevermind. [Sigh. Vash, you were less frustating to talk to when you were still love-and-peace-obsessed.]

[I bet everyone thinks he was, but for now he's still an asshole. Vash stares in the direction of the village.] I need to find my body before he does something with it. Now... how does that bastard teleport?

...I-I don't know. [She can guess how it might work, but that's about it. And even if she knew, she can't really say so while like this. ...Not that she would, considering that Vash teleporting around would make keeping track of him unnecessarily troublesome.]

[Well you have about another thirty seconds as he stands there quietly trying to figure it out, because after that - he's off!]

Is the whole reason you even use the journals to give people headaches?

HEY! I'm not the one who screamed.

So what, you're stabbing someone and this time you felt like enlightening us?

NO! That's not what happened! She's fine! I'm not Yuber!

[Another body swap? Really?]

Then what are you doing?

I'm trying to get home!

Really hard task, huh?

It is when you teleport into the wrong room.

So you're not Yuber, but you're trying to use his powers?

Yes, I was trying to get home to my body before he can do anything in it.

I'd imagine walking or running works just as well.

Not when you start out in the mountains. That would take too long.

Whatever you wanna believe. My feet take me where I need to go just fine.

What part of I needed to be somewhere quickly did you not understand, moron?

Because you're totally not wasting your time trying to teleport around and talking to people on the journal trying to explain what happened, right?

I'm doubt the people I live with are smart enough to figure it out it was me and just waste time making me prove myself. Besides, he's not answering anyway.

Whatever, you're giving me a headache.

Then stop asking stupid question and leave me alone.

[He will. Without a word -- probably a "tch" noise instead -- Ragna is closing his/her journal.]

[This is bad comedy. Very bad comedy.

Albert sighs to himself and makes note not to try talking to "Yuber" while this experiment is in effect.

...But that's not going to do much about all the griping he can hear from "Yuber."

Hopefully the village would survive this switch in one piece.]

[Vash would be sorry... if he wasn't an asshole right now and you know, knew of the connection. Enjoy the show?]

[April, not recognizing this strange blond man at all, merely walks past him, acknowledging him with a nod when she encounters him in the village.]

[Sorry April if you're not going screaming: ACK! YUBER! at him Vash doesn't feel like taking the time to explain things. So he'll return the nod, but continue on his way home.]

[Truly. Perhaps later she'll be screaming ACK! VASH! and then the fun can really start.]

[Fun times indeed.]

[~~And now that the mun is actually up~~ WORST CASE SCENARIO holy shit, Yuber, did you just teleport randomly into people's houses until you found her? Diving out of bed and screaming like a lunatic. Which is ...actually only partly (mostly) panic and partly a way of making sure Robin is awake 8Db]

[Which she is. And rather bemused, too. They'd told her about Yuber, of course. So the instant Yuber arrives in their room, he'll find himself quite thoroughly restrained.]

Usually, visitors knock on the front door.

[Oh man, and Vash has heard of your back snapping tendcies.]

WAIT! It's me VASH!

[Not something Yuber would say, she's...pretty sure. And this has been an interesting week. But can they afford to take him at his word?

...seriously doubtful. So don't mind Nami while she takes precautions anyway, fishing her Climatact out from under the pillow.] Prove it.

Edited 2010-11-23 19:16 (UTC)

[... with your hands pinned behind your head, an arm snaked around your throat, and others wrapped around your legs.]

[Those arms are very distracting! THINK VASH THINK! Oh wait! He's got it.]

When Sanji and I first met he kicked me in the head so I call him Twinkle Toes!

[Blink. Okay. We won't hold that climatact quite so threateningly.

...but you've called him that on open channels before, Vash.]

How did we first meet?

[Nami might be letting up, but Robin tightens her grip ever so slightly. Because this is the real moment of judgment~

No pressure!]

[Gah! Chocking!] Gak. That hurts...

You gave me your coat! I was out in the snow and I hadn't gotten mine yet.

[Okay. She'll just...lean on the climatact instead and stare at him some, before grinning a little.]

Yeah, okay. I believe you.

[Not putting her weapon down, though.]

[Well, it seems to be enough. A flurry of randomly appearing sakura petals and a whiff of something floral later, Yuber!Vash will find himself a free man.

Except he's still in the girls' room. Robin folds her arms under her chest.]

Is it often you decide to drop in on Nami-chan while she's sleeping?

[Oh thank god, he's free!] I was aiming for home. I'm kinda new at this whole teleporting thing.

Huh. [It's okay, Robin, this bedroom seems to be a thoroughfare for accidental teleporting >_>] I guess this means he's stuck in your body.

[Which isn't good for anyone Vash actually calls a friend, she'll bet.]

Do the Malnosso conduct these types of experiments often?

I know, that's why I was aiming for home. I need to get there before he wakes up Wolfwood and he does something stupid like kick the guy thinking it's me.

[We see your personality is just as charming this morning, Vash. To Robin:] On a regular basis. The last one was just a few weeks ago. [And to Vash:] Try raising him on your journal and give him a heads up? Wolfwood's a smart guy, he'll work out it's you.

[Well, if it's all just a misunderstanding, caused by outside meddling, Robin's going to go back to reading her book. Listening in case something interesting is said between the other two, obviously. But really, she doesn't know either Vash or Yuber well enough to ply them for maximum embarrassment. And if these sorts of things happen often, well. There will be other opportunities.]

[Vash takes a moment to grab his journal open. After a few snappy replies of: That wasn't me yelling! He tries to get a hold of Wolfwood, which ends in a scoff.] He's not answering. That idiot is probably already yelling at Yuber thinking it's me.

[So amused. They thought Nami screaming was Vash? ...well, it might have been if she'd kicked him. >_>]

Then you better go see him in person. [Because safety of friends is far and above more important right now than anything else she'd like to suggest. Like locking the Yuber body down in the tunnels, or trying to pretend to be Yuber and see if he flushes out any interesting tidbits from people that know him, or...you know, the odd, immature desire to draw on Yuber with marker saying NAMI WAS HERE.]

Edited 2010-11-24 22:08 (UTC)

Why do you think I was trying to figure out how to teleport? At least this is closer than the mountains.

Much closer. If you run, you can make it home in five minutes. [So very neutral. You're still off in there, aren't you, Vash?]

[Vash snorts.] I can make it there in three. [Either way, he's finally storming out your bedroom door.

[Legato is just hanging around outside a cafe, cleaning his rifle. He picks up a presence wandering nearby, glances up-- and blinks a little. Whoever he was expecting to see, it wasn't Yuber. Huh. He must have been more distracted than he thought.

Either way, 'Yuber' now has a different-looking (http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/SHCK/Paradisa/AUlegatocopy.png) Legato giving him a something of a confused look from across the street]

[At first Vash just glances at the stupid human staring at him. It's not a glare so hopefully the fool has no plans on trying to shoot him in this body with that gu-WAIT! is that... Legato!?

Vash comes to a stop and stares right back at Legato from across the street. Nice hair cut.]

[definitely paused in cleaning the gun now, watching the demon]

...Something wrong?

No, nothing. [Neerhh... This is so awkward. He's not sure what to say.]

[small frown] ...You're staring.

Am I? Guess I'm not use to humans cleaning their guns out in public. [Vash shoots for that. Hoping you won't guess who he really is.]

I didn't think something like that would bother you.

[watching him closely. This version of himself certainly hasn't lost that trait.]

It doesn't. I was merely curious.

[after cleaning the chamber, he slides it back in place]

I suppose guns aren't really your weapon of choice, are they?

No, they're not. [Moving a bit closer.] May I? [He holds out a hand hoping you'll hand it over. Sniper rifles aren't really Vash's choice. (Rocket launchers on the other hand...) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_0dLJHYyUs#t=21s) But it'd still be better than being unarmed.]

May you what?

[unblinking gaze watching the details of ~~Vash~~ Yuber's face.]

[Vash keeps his face as neutral as possible.] See your weapon. I've never seen one up close before. [And the weapon shop doesn't keep guns in stock.]

[after a moment of consideration, Legato opens the chamber--making sure it's not loaded--and pulls the bolt completely out.

He has to clean it, after all.

And then he hands over the partially-dismantled gun, keeping the bolt so he can wipe it down... and make sure Yuber isn't being given a functioning weapon]

[Vash wouldn't expect any less of you really. True, he had hoped you'd just remove the bullets, but maybe he could find a replacement bolt in the item shop. Vash takes the weapon carefully and smiles.] Thanks. This will come in handy. [And he's going to teleport... to the item shop's roof. Crap. Well, at least he's getting closer with this.]

[Legato doesn't hesitate... and doesn't miss a beat. You teleport away, and he immediately whirls to exactly where you reappear on his mental radar, sidearm drawn, and fires. You better have some fancy reflexes, because Legato won't miss. He's going for arms that are holding the rifle, but any limb will really do]

[Oh Legato, if only you knew who you were really shooting. Not only would you be extremely happy, you'd know just how fancy Vash's reflexes are. As soon as he hears the gunshot he drops to the ground, nearly avoiding the bullet. Well... this isn't good.]

[reloading, walking towards the shop, paying attention to where that little blip on his mental radar still is]

That wasn't wise...

[Damn, you still had your mental radar. Now what? He could teleport again, but you'd just spot him. If he only had a working gun!

...wait a second. Yuber knows lightening magic! Now... how does it work?]

[in this state, he can tell where you are, but not what you're doing. Wandering closer, eyes trained carefully on the rooftop]

I know you're up there. I want my weapon back.

You can have it once you pry it out of [And suddenly there is a burst of fire just above where Vash was ducking... that's not what he meant to do...] GAHH!

...

[what the hell?]

[And Vash ended up teleporting down the street as a way to get away from the sudden flame. Luckily it just dissipated away from the building and nothing caught. And he's now running off with your rifle.]

[just a moment later, Legato tracks the thief's new location, whirling and taking off after him. His area of expertise isn't running and shooting at the same time, but his auto-aim ability helps a little... so, enjoy the gunfire following you]

[Vash quickly ducks behind a building for cover. Oh man, come on. This is why he wanted a weapon! This magic is just no good! How did he even get the fire to wo-POOF! And there is another blast of fire as Vash drops the rifle in surprise and teleports again. A mile away. Upside down. In a tree.]

[...he jogs to a halt as what sounds like a small explosion reaches him, and the thief suddenly blinks off his radar.

Rounding the corner, he finds his rifle--goddamn it, the stock is a little scorched--and there is no sign of the demon who stole it. So, glancing around suspiciously, he reclaims his weapon... and eventually continues on his way.

...What a weird day.]

I never expected you of all people to scream like that.

[This place must be really insane if it can make Yuber more insane than he already is...]

[After avoiding a spine snap he'll come back to answer this.] Ugh, humans are so... That wasn't me that yelled!

Really? Very well, I'll take your word for it.

...But you still seem oddly different.

[Just a little intuition that he can't quite put his finger on, especially given everything that's happening so far.]

I should. I've switched bodies with Yuber.

Really?

[This definitely isn't Yuber talking.]

And who is this then?

[What poor, unfortunate soul could have switched bodies with Yuber?]

I'm Vash.

Vash??

[This is certainly a surprise. He pauses for a moment as he tries to imagine how Yuber would react to being in the idiot's body...particularly because Yuber had killed the idiot himself...]

[And the thought actually makes him giggle.]

Tsk. Stupid kid. [And shutting the journal now.]

You pathetic idiot. You had better not drop my body in the tunnels.

[Oh yeah, he totally heard all those unfiltered responses.]

Then you stay away from my friends. Don't you hurt anyone while in my body.

You're such a hypocrite. I can't hurt your friends, but it's fine to hurt me?

I won't hurt you if you don't hurt them.

Then I'll give you one very direct hint. If you put my body in the tunnels, you will break your stupid ideals against killing.

Then don't you lay a single finger on them and I won't have to.

I don't take orders from a pathetic idiot like you. If you kill my body, then you will die again for it. Maybe you'll end up completely blind this time.

Then let me make it clear for you. You don't have to worry about waking up in the tunnels as long as you don't hurt my friends.

If you do hurt them, then I will not hesitate to show you just how wrong you are in calling me pathetic.

Or I could just kill your body and let them cry over you again. It wouldn't be too hard, a quick slice to the right spot and it would be over so fast.

You won't. You have no idea what might happen to you if you're killed in that body.

You assume any of the possible outcomes actually bother me. The most likely is that you will lose something.

Then I guess I'd have to trip and fall off a cliff to get even if you kill my body.

Go ahead and try it. [Because Yuber knows full well his Rune would protect from that form of death. Honestly outside of the tunnels, he knows Vash would have a very hard time killing his body.]

If you don't think I will, you will be sorely disappointed.

If you weren't such an idiot you'd realize why I say go right ahead. It won't kill me.

Then if you feel the need to kill me, I'll head to the tunnels and find a way to return the favor.

Except you're the idiot who can't kill unless it's an accident.

I said mistake before. Not accident. This time wouldn't be a mistake.

Except I obviously have far more to lose than you do. I doubt you'll even figure out all the powers I have.

[Vash with his sudden need to outdo everyone almost slips and says just about the same, but even as a dick he knows it's best that you never find out.] Fine.

You're sounding a lot like me now.

Maybe being in your body is starting to affect my mind.

You'd be less pathetic if you stay that way. But your body isn't turning me into an idiot. You do have a few interesting friends though.

Leave them alone.

Why do you care so much?

[He had a good reason, didn't he? For a moment Vash can't remember.] Because you protect your friends.

Then they had better not do so much as touch me.

[And with that, he's shutting the journal.]

[This book is noisy and making noisy sounds and

mmmfilletofsoul doesn't like it. Was that a man yelling? ...maybe there were monsters here!?]

Mister, are you okay?

I'm fine.

But... you yelled real loud. Did you see a monster?

[Oh for the love of...] IT WASN'T ME!

[She flinches, but refrains from closing the book and running away. She was doing good in staying brave so far! Mama would be proud of her for sure.]

I-If it wasn't you, then... is the person who yelled okay? Did they see a monster?

Fine. Yes, they saw a monster. [At least he sounds more annoyed than angry?] But it's gone now. Okay?

A monster? S-So there are monsters here!? [Cheyenne is 8 years old, and this is scary.]

Some people here aren't nice, don't piss anyone off and you should be alright.

Yessir, mister. [At this point, whoever this guy is, he's going down on her list of people who "aren't nice".]

[Considering he's in Yuber's body, maybe this is a good thing.]

[Probably not.]

Don't worry, there aren't too many monsters here. Besides the Malnosso.

The Malnosso? [She's never heard that word before, but if it's the only monster here, maybe it's the same?]

...does a Malnosso eat souls, too?

Ugh, no one's told you about the Malno-[Wait a second...]

Cheyenne?

[Bingo!]

How'd you know my name, mister? [She tilts her head to the side. Turns out that's an old habit of hers.]

[Vash rubs the bridge of his nose.] I know you when you're older.

When I'm older?

...that doesn't make sense. How do you know me when I'm older when I'm not?

This is an experiment. You came here as an adult and have been shrunk into a kid for a week.

But I was just at school an' then I was here.

[She giggles.] You're saying funny things, mister!

[Vash sighs, and not for the last time I think.] Alright fine, whatever. [You'll be back to normal eventually.]

[Clearly this guy has a bad case of the grumps.]

Hey, if you know my name, why don't I know yours?

You'll know it when you're older.

But what do I call you until then?

Vash.

Vash... [A tiny smile. Something about that name feels familiar, but she can't quite place it.] That's a nice name!

Thanks, it is a good name. [Vash is warming up a bit to you. After all, you're not human.]

[She probably wouldn't even know what a human is, seeing as she's from a world of elemen.]

Vash, if you know me when I'm older, does that mean we're friends?

Yes, we are friends when we are older.

Then maybe we could be friends now, too? None of my friends are here, and everybody needs friends!

Fine, we can be friends.

[That deserves another giggle.] That makes me so happy! I can't wait to tell Mama I made a new friend!

Good. You do that the next time you see your mom. [Ha.]

Mmm...

Do you have a Mama, Vash?

I do, but I didn't get to know her. Someone else raised me.

Wouldn't that still make them kinda like your Mama anyway?

No, she may have raised me, but a human could never be my mother.

[Pause. Time for a head-tilt.]

What's a human?

Humans look a lot like me and you, but they are meaner and more ruthless. They're like parasites that are willing to hurt others as long as they get ahead.

So they're like monsters? Then... why did one take care of you?

A handful aren't too bad.

They still sound real scary...

I'd avoid them if I were you.

There aren't any here, right?

There a few here. [And then a bit reluctantly.] Most of them here aren't bad because everything is provided for them.

[Way to go, Vash. She looks like she's about to cry. She'll keep trying to hold back, though.]

But... Masaomi-chan told me there were no monsters here...

They're not monsters. More annoying. They're easy enough to get rid of if you need to.

So if they're not monsters, then... then they don't eat souls?

No, they don't eat souls.

[A tiny sigh of relief.] That's good... then they aren't like the monster outside my village...

No, no monsters like that here. [He'd be more interested in the soul eating monster, but he already knows one day you'll eat souls but...]

What happens if that monster eats your soul?

[She's quiet for a few moments.]

I dunno. Mama only told me we can't go outside the fences. But I heard the other grown-ups at school talking about the monster, and how it eats souls. An' when I asked Mama about it, she got real upset...

I see, well, there are no soul eating monsters here at least.

That's good! It'd be a lot scarier if there were, but there aren't any, so I kinda like it here!

Yeah, this place isn't all bad.

I do wish Mama was here, though... cause it's safer...

Nn, but I'm sure the neighbors are taking care of her! The people here are just as nice as the people back home!

Don't worry, I'm sure she's fine.

I hope so. [Smile.]

You're a real nice guy, Vash! [~~She hasn't met a lot of other nice guys, apparently...~~]

[Vash just chuckles, because really? You're pretty lucky he knows you're not human.]

[She tilts her head.] Is something funny?

No, nothing, it's nothing.

Vash, what the hell.

Oh good, you're still alive.

And this isn't my fault.

Lucky for you, Yuber can't use a gun to save his life.

And don't worry—I'm pretty damn sure it isn't, this time around. Just the wonderful Luceti experiments to keep you preoccupied, right?

Well, that's good. I had hoped he'd be too stupid to figure out how to use one. He better not shoot my body trying to learn.

Don't sweat it. He's not acting like he's going to be doing anything crazy.

...Figure out his tricks, or are you almost dropping yourself into lakes?

I'm working on it! [And that snap might have been from the fact he almost set himself on fire trying to steal Legato's rifle. Not that he's about to admit he screwed something up in this mental state.]

...What are you doing over there, Vash?

Nothing. This teleporting stuff isn't easy; so give me a break. I doubt a human could even begin to comprehend it.

[Uuuuurgh.]

(Are you trying to give me an aneurysm?)

Maybe you shouldn't try and teleport without knowing what the hell you're doing. Unless you'd enjoy flinging yourself into the mountains or lake?

[Of course he's trying to give you an aneurysm! 8Db]

I was trying to get home before Yuber can go out in my body and cause trouble.

Well, you're a little late on that. He's sort of gone already.

...you didn't let him go, now did you?

What did you want me to do, beat him up and throw him in a trunk?

He's more concerned with making sure you're not out killing his body, so you don't have to worry.

YOU LET HIM GO!?

What if one of my friends run up to him thinking it's me and piss him off!?

Calm [the fuck] down, Vash. He's probably being looked after, if my 'aid' is doing his job.

Your aid?

Mhm. Someone to keep an eye out.

[Not getting much more than that.]

...wait. Don't tell me it's your new best friend, is it?

Don't be ridiculous.

(Why would you ever refer to him as a 'friend'?)

Would you prefer new pet? He seems quite taken with you.

He's freaking me the hell out, acting like we're suddenly buddies. But I can't really do much but try and ignore it without causing even more problems.

Relax, he'll be over it soon enough. There was an experiment right before you showed up where I was human and believed I always had been for awhile. It's probably like that.

Doesn't make it any less aggravating.

But I can deal with it.

Good.

...it's not him, right?

...Not him?

You didn't really tell the crazy man with a sniper rifle, who may I add also hates me right now, to watch Yuber, did you?

...does he know it's YUBER in my body?

I have no clue, because I definitely didn't tell him to watch you.

[Ahahahaha.]

Wolfwood...

What? I'm entirely innocent here.

(Sort of. Not really.)

I can read your thoughts idiot. What did you tell him?

I didn't tell him anything. Except that you're a rude ass.

Then who's suppose to be watching Yuber? And maybe if I got a straight answer from you I wouldn't need to be so rude!

You're rude no matter what you're doing. I don't need to give someone any straight answers, when they're changing into a complete dick.

[Duuuh.

Oh. And he closes his journal. HOW'S THAT, VASH?]

You-!! [And the transmission cuts out on his end.] OH, YOU JERK! [Now he'll spend the next few minutes grumbling about how he'll set you on fire when he gets home and will NEVER help you out ever again.]

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