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[There's a small sight that shouldn't be to unusual at Good Spirits. It's Vash sitting at the bar chugging down a large pitcher of beer. What is NOT so usual is the fact that Vash is the wrong gender and dressed in a princess's dress. Seeing as there was no way he was going to go home looking like this for Wolfwood to find out he went to Good Spirits instead.

He lets out a large belch as he finishes the large glass in one go.]

Bartender! Another!

[Don't be surprised if a beautiful woman starts leering at any ladies in the bar at the moment. As Vash is getting pleasantly buzzed and at times forgetting he's not quite himself right now. At one point his journal flips open as he talks out loud to himself.]

Jeez, how can women stand these dresses? It's always getting in the way and I can't stop tripping on it! It also doesn't seem very useful if they have to go to... the... bathroom.

[Guess who just realized he can go into the promised land without getting smacked? Now to try this out. Vash walks into the girl's bathroom and - it's... very dull. Damn. Why didn't Luceti have a public bath or something!? This time he opens his journal on purpose.]

I don't suppose any girls wants to join me in a fun little girl's only trip to the hot springs do they? [>D]

[Sometime later, after the hot-springs if he manages to get anyone to go with him, Vash will be wandering around the fountain waiting to turn back. Damn, what is he going to do? It's starting to get dark. He can't go home looking like this! You know what would be good right now? Some donuts! Yeah! That's just what he needs! Only as he walks towards the bakery--

Poof!

Suddenly Vash found himself a lot shorter than he just was.]

OH CRAP! I wanted to change! But not like THIS!

[Vash will be waddling around in his new donut form trying to seek shelter from hungry people, feel free to find him anywhere! He's still teleporting so I mean ANYWHERE! Also, clicking the pictures will take you to a larger version.]

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[...]

[There is something uncomfortably familiar about the voice coming out of the journal right now. Even if it does sound a bit... higher in pitch. Or a lot higher in pitch.]

[...hot springs trip, huh...]

Vash... san?

EH!? Vash? Who is this Vash!? I don't know any Vash! But it sure does sound like a strong and handsome name for a guy!

...really?

[Not sure if believing her... but maybe its just a coincidence! It'd be rude to just insist otherwise, after all.]

Sorry, I guess I mistook you for someone else.

That's alright, uh... sweetie! [Huh, that's how girls talk to each other, right?] I don't mind getting confused for someone if he's ah, [What word would girls use? Oh!] cute!

I don't think cute is a word I'd use to describe him...

["Creepy" maybe.]

Handsome then?

Not particularly...

[Well, she wasn't really paying attention.]

But... he wasn't-ISN'T... bad looking... right?

He was... interesting-looking, I guess.

[Kaname, that is not a compliment.]

Interesting... in a good way?

..I guess?

[...]

Why does it matter?

[SUSPICIOUS.]

JUST CURIOUS! JUST CURIOUS IS ALL! THAT'S ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

[...]

You're not a very good liar, Vash-san.

VASH!? I never said my name was Vash! It's... it's uh... Vicky.

...Vicky-san, then.

[She already knows there's a experiment going on, so maybe he got changed by it? Changing people's genders around...]

[It's a good thing that's never happened to her!]

[~~Sob.~~]

So - uh, what's your name? [Yup. He's going to pretend that you're actually buying this.]

[Crys went to the bar for whatever reason, maybe just to check it out and see what it's like. Until she sees a certain lady chugging beer. Oh man. That can't be good.]

Um, miss, it's not good to drink alcohol that quickly.

[Vash goes ahead and lets out a large burp, but otherwise doesn't answer. He's no miss after all.] Ahhh, that sure hits the spot!

[... wow, really? Not pleased.] Miss. [Tugs on Vash's sleeve.]

You might want to worry about your manners.

Eh? You talkin' to me kid?

I'm not a kid. And yes, I am talking to you. You shouldn't drink alcohol that quickly.

And who are you? My mother. I know how to drink just fine!

You do not! It's not good for your health. Just slow down a little.

Yeah? And what do you know about it pipsqueak? You don't like you've had a drop of alcohol in your life.

[... you are being glared at.] Well I know I've gotten more manners than you in my life. And I'm not "pipsqueak", I'm Crys. And I'm fourteen.

Alright Crys, fourteen? That doesn't seem to be a lot of years to know how much one man can drink! [Opps, did he say man? Was there a reason he was avoiding that word?]

And I don't think you're a very good judge either, miss. [Just pointing out the... flaw there.]

I know my body better than you!

Somehow I doubt that. [She'll just give you a look.]

Hey! I'm the one living in it, aren't I? [HIC!]

Are you aware you're a girl?

EH!? What do you think you're - [Oh, wait... she's right.]

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! WELL OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!

[OOOOOOOOOW LOUD YELLING.] Please don't yell. And I'm doubting you knew that. Is it from the shift?

What!? A shift!? What are you talking about!? My name's.... VICKY!

It's been going around. And it's nice to meet you... Vicky.

Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed! HAHAHAHHAHA!

Uh... Vicky, could you please not laugh that loudly? And it's been going on for a few days.

I guess I've just been lucky then? And why not laugh loudly? I'm just a girl, a regular always been girl, loving life! And when you love life you laugh loudly! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Possibly. [Wow. This chick is obnoxious.] If you say so, then. I suppose you must... really love life.

Doesn't everyone?

Well, I do. But um... not so much here, I'm sorry to say.

Ah... well... this place does have a few nice things doesn't? Not paying for anything is pretty nice and you get to meet some pretty interesting people, don't you think?

Hmmm... you do have a point there. I've made a lot of friends here already.

See! Good things everywhere if you look for them!

[Fujiko just starts laughing, sorry Vash she can't help it.] Goodness, this really isn't your week, is it?

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! TELEPORTING, THOUGHT BUBBLES, TURNING INTO THINGS, MISSING MY BREAKFAST AND LUNCH! AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE! DEATH AND POVERTY'S FRIENDS HAVE FINALLY FOUND ME! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR AT ALL!

[Ever seen a donut cry? As heavy creme is leaking from Vash's eyes.]

Awwww... There there... [She will just scoop him up and look for a napkin. And maybe sprinkles.] At least it has to be over soon, right?

WHAAAA! [Up high! In the air! Vash likes not being stepped on, but he doesn't like being up in the air!] Oh man, I hope so. Not sure how much more of this I can take!

Edited 2012-06-07 14:16 (UTC)

[Sets him down carefully on a table and hands him a napkin.]

I can see why. And I thought being a wolf was weird.

[Napkin? Why would he want a napkin!? You're making him feel like food- oh... yeah...]

I'd rather be a wolf than FOOD!

Some people would eat wolves.

[Not that that helps.] And I'm sure no one will eat you so long as you keep talking and reminding them that you could always come back and kick their ass for it. Or turn human from inside their stomachs. [TOTALLY helpful right?]

I don't know about that. Have you seen a cat around here with a million of small teeth? She's really scary.

[If a donut could shiver, he would. Just thinking about turning human in someone's stomach is making him feel ill.] But if I got chewed up I'm not sure I could turn back.

Want me to get you home to somewhere safe then? Or maybe you could wear something protective. Like armor.

I somehow doubt they make armor this small. Besides, I'm having enough trouble walking as it is. I'd sure appericate a lift home.

[Wait. Cats. Two HUNGRY cats.]

Actually... how about a just an empty apartment for awhile?

Okay, there should be a safe spot in my apartment building. Just ignore anything on the lower floors, everyone's a little crazy, and you know... shift and all that.

Ugh, I've had just about enough of this shift by now.

I can't say I blame you. You seem to have gotten the worst end of it by far.

[Fujiko on the other hand is just going to try to keep her gloating to herself about how it skipped her.]

DON'T REMIND ME! I have no idea what I'll be an hour from now! I just want to be my usual, non-food product self!

Well, this has to end sooner or later right? Maybe this will be the last thing for you?

I don't know... you have no idea how bad my luck is.

Oh goodness... I guess you better tell me about it. Before coming here I didn't think anyone could have worse luck than me. And that's a pretty funny statement when you think about it. Since coming here itself should be proof of bad luck, ne?

Anyways, what happened darling?

IT'S TOO HORRIBLE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT!

Seriously that bad?

It is! It really is! [Vash cries sweet tears of frosting.]

[Oh hey, guess who else is near the bakery today.

...That's one interesting donut. It looks pretty tasty ~~nevermind the fact that it's. Walking and talking.~~

Duuun dun...duuun dun...]

[Vash is trying to waddle himself to some sort of cover. Worried someone will step on him when-

Huh, why does he suddenly feel as if death is approaching? He waddles even faster.]

[Because it is, as the footsteps get closer and louder...]

[Vash tries to waddle even faster, but just ends up tripping and rolling onto his back.] DON'T EAT ME! I TASTE HORRIBLE!

But you look pretty tasty...

[wow all these teeth sure are reassuring.]

IT'S A TRICK! I look super tasty but I really taste like mud!

[Eep.]

How do you know?

[Only one way to find out...]

I was uh... MADE OUT OF MUD!

Really? How?

[fitting because he's a Plant

i mean uh]

I uh... I don't know how. I just am. [Oh thank god, is this working?]

Hmmmm...

[She scrutinizes this donut-man carefully, leaning in as she does so...]

[Vash attempts to lean back as the cat leans closer, but instead he ends up just tipping over and getting stuck on his back.] ACK!

[Using that opportunity, she quickly attempts to place a paw over donut Vash to trap him. Not too hard though. Wouldn't want to squish him.]

ACK! Don't do that! Let me go!

[...Peering closely at him, then finally lifting her paw and freeing him.]

Fine...

[The hunt wasn't as fun as she thought it'd be.]

Oh, thank goodness! I thought you were really going to eat me there for a minute!

Tao's not that hungry...yet.

[Innocent smile. It's innocent. Really. B)]

Oh, YET! Well, that's good. OH! Look at the time! Eh! [Vash flails in an attempt to get back onto his feet.] I really! EH! Better be - EH! GOING NOW! EHHHH!

[She just...stares at him (maybe a little hungrily), but lets him go nonetheless.]

Okay, tiny donut guy!

And you really need to learn not to eat talking food! Hungry or NOT! We have feelings too you know! [Vash finally manages to roll over onto his side to make a waddling retreat.]

[...And she watches Vash take his leave.

Go, little donut man, go.]

[And off the little donut man goes. Waddling off into the sunset!]

[Faith's unaffected...but if she's going to get through this place turning into a looney bin, drinking seems a good way to do it. She's sitting backwards on a chair, beer in hand, watching the affected patrons do their thing with an expression that lingers between incredulity and amusement]

[Oh, now that's a pretty nice looking woman. Nice dark hair. Looks silky and soft to the touch too. Vash wonders what it would take to be able to touch it.

Just hope Faith doesn't mind the slightly buzzed princess looking her up and down with a coy smile on her face.]

[one eyebrow arches when she catches that look] ...you need somethin'?

Oh, I do. I need your phone number, beautiful.

[snerk]

Sorry, Sister. You're barkin' up the wrong tree.

But I think I'm barking up the right tree! For you see, I've lost my heart up in the leaves of your long and beautiful tree!

Uh huh. Can't say you got bad taste, but I drive stick.

[Whoa, whoa, WHOA!] Are you saying there's something wrong with my stick? Because my stick is perfectly drivable! [Vash goes ahead and finishes his drink. How insulting!]

Lady, I think you're missin' the point...'cause either you don't have a stick, or I'm really not interested. [Dude looks like a lady...]

LADY!? WHO DO YOU THINK I LO- [And that's when he catches part of his relflection and sees the new look to his hand as he grabs for the drink the bartender refilled for him.]

Edited 2012-06-14 18:18 (UTC)

[...oh yeah. That's right. CRAP!]

-t-think we're talking about! Y-you have no IDEA if I can drive stick or not! I'll have you know I drove stick ALL the time back home!

[Woah, Bessy]

...sure ya did.

Edited 2012-06-14 18:22 (UTC)

[Oh shit...] An-and I mean a car! I didn't own a car! B-but most cars I borrowed where stick! So I could drive stick!

Bit of advice? I'd cut back on the caffeine.

HA! Caffeine! Yeah! That's it! Way too much caffeine! HAHAHAHHAHAHA! How silly of me!

...We done now?

[seriously. You're weirding her out a bit]

Oh! Come on now! I hope I didn't scare you away! Maybe we could be girlfriends or something! UH! I mean, just friends who happen to be two girls kind of girlfriends! Not the other kind and uh- I know this great guy I could introduce you to!

...You just don't give up, do you?

Eh?

[she sighs and rolls her eyes]

Okay. I'll bite. What's with the buddy buddy routine?

N-NOTHING! It just! You seem like a fun and nice girl is all! HAHAHHAHA! One can never have too many friends, right?!

[crossing her arms under her chest, she leans back and kicks her feet up onto a nearby chair, watching Vash with a mix of annoyance and amusement]

...Wouldn't know.

You wouldn't? Do you not have any friends?

[After popping in the Good Spirits to pick up some wine for that evening, Gracia can't help but overhear Vash.]

Are you having problems with the dress?

[Vash blushes at being caught. Oh man, worse than being caught. He knows this girl. It's Elicia's mom. Cue even more blushing.]

Oh! Um, er... well, it's just - uh, you know, there are just... there's just - um. TOO MANY LAYERS! Yeah! Too many layers to this thing!

Edited 2012-06-09 03:06 (UTC)

[Layers, huh?]

Have you thought about a different dress?

No, not really. I have a feeling I wouldn't be very good at picking out dresses. Just... a hunch really.

Oh? Why is that?

Oh, you know, just a hunch! What do they call it? Ah - oh! Woman's intuition!

Ah - that's a shame.

I wonder if I should try pants. Seems easier. [He's just not sure if the Malnosso would allow it.]

[She smoothed down her own skirt.]

They do have a certain appeal.

Ugh, but I have no idea what size I'd wear! Girls have such... simple sizes. How do you know what's long enough? Or wide enough?

You don't know your own size?

Not... not at least in pant sizes. [Yeah, GREAT cover there Vash you idiot!]

[She eyes him.]

Eight.

YOU CAN TELL JUST LIKE THAT!? [Is this a magical power all girls have?]

[Gracia laughs.]

Not exactly.

The how do you know?

I was guessing. Also, you're probably closer to a six.

[As any woman would have protested.]

Oh? A six? That's a good number to be, right? [Oh yeah, even as a woman he looks good!]

You're not sure?

Er... should... I?

[Well gosh, Miss Vash. Don't you look pretty!

Pity you're in Nami's bedroom, all of a sudden. While she's getting dressed, no less. ~~No really, guess how many times she's gotten dressed this week.~~]

[Vash lands, still holding the large glass of beer he had been working on. Great. NOW where was... he...

Whoa.]

N-NAMI!? [He's going to die, he just knows it, but he's pretty sure it's worth it.]

[You look awfully familiar, and the reaction only makes her narrow her eyes in suspicion even more. Nami eyes the new arrival with a flat look and then reaches for her tanktop and slides it on without so much as twitching. She sounds so pleasant.]

And you are?

Oh me?! Hahahahahaha! My name is Vicky! Ah, hahaha, I've heard of you from Wolfwood! It's nice to finally meet you! [HA! Nice save. She'll NEVER guess who this is now!]

Ahh. Right. Wolfwood's mentioned a Vicky. [Solemn nod. Sanji's brother, huh.] How are the kids?

He... did? OH! Of course he did! I-I I mean I'm a little embarrassed that he did! I'm nothing special really!

AND THE KIDS ARE GREAT! JUST GREAT! HAHAHA!

Yeah? That's great to hear! And Michael's over his food poisoning?

[Such an innnnocent face.]

F-food poisoning!? I didn't even know!

Really? Wolfwood didn't tell you about that incident?

...well, that's... very unfortunate, given the circumstances.

The, uh, circumstances?

You know, the fact that Michael broke into my orchard and devoured an entire tree's worth of mikan that weren't anywhere near ripe?

Edited 2012-06-13 17:57 (UTC)

A WHOLE TREE!? I'm not sure even I could eat THAT much!

Why do you think he got so sick? He's your son, maybe you should keep a better watch of him.

...which reminds me. We still haven't settled the charges for that.

MY SON- Wait... I don't have a son!

Edited 2012-06-15 13:59 (UTC)

Oh? [Blink. Blink blink.] You are the Vicky that Wolfwood knows, right?

I guess not THAT Vicky.

Gosh. I could've sworn you said you were. You look just like he described, too.

[Syrupy. Sweet.]

R-Really? [Why does Vash slowly feel doom approaching?]

Yeah. Are you sure you don't have a son called Michael? Because if you don't, I can only think of one other explanation.

That Wolfwood knows more than one Vicky!?

Well, I didn't think about that, Vash. I suppose he could do.

NO! HE KNOWS TWO VICKYS! I'M NOT VASH! VASH IS LOUD AND ANNOYING! I'M NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! [Ha! Insulting himself will totally make you believe him!] EVEN IF HE IS GOOD LOOKING!

[Just keep yelling, Vash. Nami's just going to stare at you now. For a very long time.

Until you break and say something else. |D]

[What about if he shuts up then sits there laughing meekly? Because that's what he's doing.]

[Hmm, let's test something.]

I don't think I'll wear this tanktop after all.

[OFF IT GOES.]

W-HAHAHA! Yeah! I think you can do much better than that plain tanktop!

Edited 2012-06-21 01:37 (UTC)

[And that's the point it gets flung into Vash's face.

Followed by a foot at high speed.]

[Vash has enough time to be disappointed as the clothing is flung towards his head and blocks his view. Then he has just enough time to think: Oh! This smells just like- only that thought is never finished, instead it's replaced by bright lights and stars as Nami's foot connects with his face.]

W-WHHHAAAA!

[Even if it sounds just a tad girly, that should be a well known yell to someone who lives next door to Vash. Not to mention having kicked him a few times before this.]

[Oh don't worry, Vash, she already well picked it was you. |D But for the record, her tanktop smells like mikan.]

That'll be one thousand dollars added to your tab, Vash.

What!? No fair!? Why!?

Viewer's fee. Or did you think standing in a woman's bedroom and leering at her while pretending you're someone else is perfectly okay? That's against the law, Vash.

Edited 2012-06-24 20:39 (UTC)

B-b-but I wasn't leering! I didn't ASK to come here!

Oh, so you had no choice about continuing to stare? That's a problem you should get looked into, Vash. I'd be happy to help.

I-I wasn't staring! We were just having a conversation is all! YOU DISTRACTED ME!

Ohhh? What did I distract you with, I wonder? [Crossing her arms. Under her breasts.

She still has no shirt on, by the way.]

[Vash swallows a bit hard, knowing he's going to die for this, but unable to look away from the beauty that is Nami.]

Oh... you know... with your stunning beauty.

Fifteen hundred dollars.

WHAT?! [Yet... still unable to look away!]

Two thousand.

[OH SHI- Vash finally closes his eyes and turns his head away for good measure.] No fair! You're taking advantage of the latest curse the Malnosso put on me!

[Not the best tactic to take, Vash. She's already tired of hearing about the 'evil Malnosso' this week.]

No, Vash. I'm punishing you for being an absolute pig. Any decent man would have averted his eyes the second he found himself in here with me. Don't even get me started on the fact that you lied about it.

I dunno about any decent man... [Have you SEEN yourself Nami?]

Ohhh, so your being a pig is my fault?

W-w-w-well I guess I mean, it's NO one's fault! Just the Malnosso! How about that!

Turning away, Vash! Apologising and walking out of the room! Are these things beyond you?

BUT I WAS DISTRACTED! ANY MAN WOULD BE EVEN AS A GIRL!

A DISTRACTION FOR A FEW SECONDS MAYBE I'D BUY. NOT STANDING THERE FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE YOU TRIED TO CONVINCE ME YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE!

B-But I was embarrassed! I had to try to trick you!

Of course. While still staring.

Well, you see! I was just - [POOF! Waiting to be teleported away again!]

[....

RUDE.]

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(no subject)

[Voice] /because this CR is just starting off in all the best ways already... :'D

[Voice] Vash doesn't know any way to make CR other than awkward and horrible

[Voice] That's what makes it beautiful!

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[action] I'll think of a reason a 13 year old would go to the bar soon...

[action] She taught, she taw a poke-eee-mans?

[action] YES that works nicely.

[action] Muw ha hah

[action] >:)

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[action] I just realized Crys never met Vash when he's normal

[action] Oddly a lot of Vash's CR starts this way! LOL! XD XD XD

[action] Best way for it to start!

[action] Always!

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[Action] -- Donut!

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