goldenglasses | [Voice]

[SILENCE. SO MUCH SILENCE.]

[and then]

OI. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

How much did you say your bounty was again?

Try it, Broom Head, and they won't be able to find all the pieces when I'm done with your shitty ass.

[Ignoring you] I wonder what the exchanged rate into double dollars would be...

OI! FREAKIN PAY ATTENTION.

Yes Twinkle Toes?

Are you really gonna come after us?!

It's my job! [Will he do anything after catching you? Probably not... if he even can.]

... You know what, you do that, idiot.

I'm not doing too bad! I just caught Luffy!

... You did what?

I caught Luffy! [What? You deaf?]

How the he-- actually, nevermind that part.

Where are you two?!

We're headed to your place.

... Uh, why?

Nami said she'd give me a voucher for the bounty.

... Alright.

[he'll just be waiting to free Luffy then because Sanji trusts no one in this state anymore]

Hey! You should meet me in Nami's room! Then I could bring you both in at the same time!

Don't hold your breath for that. [and closes the journal]

[Guess who woke up feeling he should give a rest to his work as thief and his dream to be a doctor and become a bounty hunter. Akira Ijyuin, he's too young to work alone but he could be a sidekick.]

Oh, mister! Where do one apply to be auditioned as a sidekick? I would love to be one of a bounty hunter and learn the job!

Hm... do you have a catchphrase!?

Uhm...

[Thinking, he thought super heroes had catchphrases, not bounty hunters. Then again bounty hunters are heroes...]

Save the cheerleader, get the bounty!

[Like Vash knows what he's doing. Sidekicks ALWAYS have catchphrases don't they?] Perfect! You're hired! I can't pay you unless we get a bounty though.

Really? Yay!!!

[Cheering around.]

Ah, I'm Akira Ijyuin, boss!

Hm. We may have to think of a cute nickname too... but first! We must find some bounties to bring in!

Maybe we should ask the police for a list?

Great idea sidekick!

...are there police here?

There should be! And if not the guide mentioned two organizations that seemed to work like that.

Yes! Let's start there!

Luffy's bounty is 300 million. Go to it, Vash the Stampede.

[Someone sounds frazzled. And kinda pissed. At everyone now. Being kidnapped by a tree has made her day, really. You know what this town needs, Vash? It needs more law. And justice.]

No need to send Vash in the lion's den yet, Nami-san. The shit can't even handle my bounty.

I will have both of your bounties collected by midday! [Laughs]

What? I don't have a bounty.

I meant Luffy and Sanji, Fair Maiden!

Oh, of course you did. Well, good luck. Don't forget the marines won't give you full price unless you bring them in alive.

Of course! I wouldn't bring them in any other way!

Good, good. Commodore Smoker is the man you want to turn them in to. He'll make sure you get your money.

[Long pause. Then thoughtfully:]

Or I guess you could turn them in to me.

To you?

Well, yeah. You can hand in the bounty to any marine, you know. I can put the right paperwork through for you and everything.

I thought you were a pirate.

A girl's allowed to have a career change. Besides, after everything that's happened today it's clear this town needs a little more justice on its side.

[He's not sure if you're joking and serious] So what will I get for the bounties I bring in?

Well, I'd guess that's up to Commodore Smoker, but I'm sure he'll make sure you're compensated the right amount!

Huh. Hope I can find him if I catch someone then.

You can just report to me if you like. I'll make sure you get a receipt which you can cash in later.

Even if I hand in Luffy?

Especially if you hand in Luffy.

[AHHH! What's with that look!?]

Alright Vash, since you're determined to tempt fate.

Go ahead. Try it.

I suppose that's a point. He can start a little smaller and work his way up.

... Nami-san, please don't encourage him.

There's some funny shit going on here...

You're telling me. I got kidnapped by a tree this morning. Hyuuga's singing opera in the square and Yuber's trying to give everyone food poisoning. Don't get me started on the freak that broke into our house this morning to lie on my bed.

...I should arrest him. Pervert.

[nodding like a good boy until you hit the arrest part]

I... uh. You want to--

Arrest him. Breaking and entering. You know. It's the right thing to do.

[she might not be able to see the mental panic, but Sanji is indeed panicking]

A-aha, Nami-san! [clears his throat] That's not your usual style though, right?

No, but after all the idiocy I've witnessed this morning? I think it's time for a change,, Sanji-kun.

[he doesn't want to ask he doesn't want to ask he doesn't want to as--]

... And what change did Nami-san have in mind?

... [There is some great thinking involved here. You can almost hear the audible grinding sound as logic overturns in there somewhere.]

Being a pirate just isn't doing it for me in Luceti. Hmm. I think I need to talk to Smoker.

YOU WANT TO BE A MARINE?!

[THAT FACE D:]

It's okay! I wouldn't dream of coming after my own crew!

[you are confusing him, Nami-san]

I don't think they allow Marines to be pirates on the side!

Well, pirate wasn't really doing it for me anyway.

[FUCK. Trying a different tactic]

O-oi, Nami-san, think about this for a moment! You know we're damn near useless without you around!

Oh, that is a good point...

[Sold, Sanji-kun. For at least a few minutes.]

[looks so relieved for a moment]

Y-yes, Nami-san! This is why we need you!

[Daww. How can she do this to him? ...she'll go arrest people tomorrow, then.]

All right then. Pirate it is.

Awaaah, Nami-san is always so kind and giving~! [he's doing it mostly for the familiarity, but he's worried this won't hold very long]

I am, aren't I? Okay. Home soon. Need anything from the shops? Got some stuff to pick up...

No, I have everything I need~!

[hesitation. And then]

Nami-san, promise me you'll be careful. Please.

Always, Sanji-kun.

[She will. ...until logic fails her entirely tomorrow >_>]

What's a bounty hunter?

It's a man who brings in wrong-do-ers and gets paid to do so!

That sounds dangerous..

It is! But not to worry! For I am strong and brave! I laugh in the face of danger!

Be careful then.

Don't worry! I'm always careful!

Edited 2010-01-25 17:49 (UTC)

Alright.

So you've gotten over your annoying ideals?

You need to bring them in alive for a bounty!

And then they die for their crimes. Quite the job for an idiot like you.

[Shhh! He didn't think that far ahead] No! They go to jail!

Keep thinking that if you want.

There is no bounty on me, so you can look elsewhere.

Then I'll put a bounty on your head!

...One donut for bringing you in! [What? He doesn't want to MOTIVATE people to go after you!]

[Such a pathetic bounty, seriously.] That is worth getting yourself killed again over?

I won't let you kill me again.

You picked the wrong profession if that is the case.

I'll be fine.

So you truly wish to die again that badly?

I'm not going to die!

Then go seek out a far less dangerous target. Perhaps one who hasn't killed you already?

[Snorts] Maybe I will! [Seeing as he didn't really have any intentions of trying to find you.]

Or find a profession that suits someone as pathetic as you?

I'll think about it. [Shutting journal now.]

What does a sidekick have to do?

Well, they must be cute, help me find bounties to bring in, and have a catchphrase!

Bounties? What's that? ... a catchphrase...

Well, sometimes people get bounties put on their heads. A certain amount of money that the government will give someone for bringing that person into jail.

Sometimes people who have bounties are bad people, other times... [Grins sheepishly] it's a misunderstanding.

And a catchphrase is something you say over and over that's really catchy!

I see... what kind of misunderstanding?

Hmmm... do you have a catchphrase, Vash?

Oh you know... the usual - mistaken identity and such.

And no, I don't. [Yes he does - he just doesn't see it as one. XD]

I see... does that happen a lot?

Hmm... can i still be a sidekick even though I don't have a catchphrase?

Uh- more than most people think?

["Thinks" about this for a long time.] SURE!

Edited 2010-01-28 21:41 (UTC)

Has it happened to you before?

Yay!! What do I have to do now then?

AHAHAHA! Why would you think that!? AHAHAAHAmaybeHAHAHAHAA!

Hm. Help me find people wtih bounties and think of clever trapts to catch them in!

... maybe?

Okay!

[Ignores first part] Great! You're hired!

Yay! [and goes sit on your shoulder]

Alright! Let's go catch some badies! [And off he runs! Where is he going? Hell if he knows.]

Let's go!! [and hangs on to his collar as Vash dashes off!]

[And in the end they'll probably have a fun day; but get absolutely nothing done!]

[Yeah, they'd probably get distracted by food or something along the way!]

... You could turn yourself in, you know.

I don't count! I'm the bounty hunter!

Who happens to have a bounty on his head. Or, you did. I bet you still do, some places.

People don't need to know that!

True. They don't need to.

Hey! You could be one of my sidekicks if you want!

A sidekick?

Yeah! You can handle all the paperwork!

Exciting.

Ha! I knew you'd love it! [Or is he ignoring your lack of real excitement because he doesn't want to do it?]

... Sure, why not?

GREAT! Then we should- wait... really?

Are you kidding?

Umm... no?

Besides, I don't think I qualify under your criteria.

A good business takes many different people to run it!

Oh, it's a business, now? It's growing by the second.

Of course! Who wouldn't want to work for me?

You don't want me to answer that one.

[Choosing to ignore that.] Still have a few small details to work out; but I'm sure I'll be a great bounty hunter in no time!

And who will you hunt here?

Well that's what my sidekick will be for! Helping me find people with bounties!

Hmm... although I guess I could start with Luffy and Sanji.

Edited 2010-01-29 20:09 (UTC)

... You're going to hunt our friends?

Well no! Not hunt! I mean they’re our friends; I’ll just… hm… catch them? [Yeah. Someone didn’t think this through - just went with impulse.]

What, like insects?

No!

You don't catch insects in nets.

Oh? Then what are you catching them with?

A big net!

A big net could work.

[Nods] Excatly! Baited with meat!

That would work for Luffy, at least.

Well he is the one with the bounty.

I wonder what would happen if you turned yourself in.

A bounty hunter is suppose to catch their bounty! I can't catch myself! [Ah excuses!]

I wonder how much you would get...

Well of course; with a face as beautiful as this, I'd be worth double!

Maybe I should have taken advantage when I could.

...that's not funny.

I'm sorry.

No you're not.

I am so.

Oh really?

Why would I lie?

[Thinks about that for a moment then laughs.] I guess you wouldn't.

See? Then I'm being sincere.

So... does this mean you'll handle the paperwork?

Sure, why not?

Yeah! Alright! Great! Now I don't have to do it!

It'd be a disaster if you did.

Hey, not my fault it's so dull. I don't understand why you enjoy it so much.

That's not the part of the work I like, though.

Ace bounty hunter...? [What. Doesn't being a bounty hunter kind of... clash with what he told her last time?]

Yes! I will bring dangerous criminals to jail and collect money for it!

But... Capturing such criminals would require incapacitating them first, right...? [Which would usually require harming them. And she knows someone who would would definitely be considered a "dangerous criminal"...]

Yes. They have to be brought in alive after all for the bounty to be collected!

But doing so would incapacitating them would likely require injuring them, wouldn't it...?

Well no! I mean you just set up really complicated traps for them to fall into!

...Traps? [Congratulations, Vash, that just got her attention! ...I'm not sure if that's a good thing, though.]

Yeah! Really good, complex ones that they can't escape from!

Is... it actually possible to build traps like that?

Sure! Why not!

...How? [Traps like that sound pretty useful to her...]

Hm. Guess it would depend on the target!

Yes, it... likely would. [Hm...]

What kind of trap would... you use if the target is a sword user?

Hmm... a metal net?

...That may work.

Can... you think of something else that may also be effective?

Hmm. Well you have to bait your trap fairly well.

Bait...? [...Vash, you're giving her ideas. And that's definitely not a good thing.]

[Too bad he's too into his new job and doesn't know Nu well enough to know better.] Yeah! Figure out what your target likes to eat for bait!

What my target likes to eat...? [Pause. That's... something she doesn't know, unfortunately.]

...Is... there anything other than food that could be used as bait?

Hm. I guess something they like or need? Like a rare item maybe. I would say money but too many people would go after that and there's no money here.

Something they like or need... Understood. [Looks like she'll have to try to find out if there's anything like that for her targets~...]

[And Vash will probably feel horrible later, but for now he's nodding.]

What purpose would bounty hunting have here? There's no monetary reward since money is useless here, and there is no official police force to put bounties on people, redeem bounties, or hold the wanted people captive.

[What? You think he put thought into this?] Hm. Then I guess I'll have to collect in favors or something.

[Not really; just wanted to see how he'd react to someone thinking he did.] Do you have a lot of experience with bounty hunting? You seem fairly confident, at least.

How hard can it be!

It can get really difficult; I was fairly experienced with that sort of job back home. I can't remember how long it's been since I took a non-S-ranked bounty hunting mission, but anyone with a price on their head won't go along with you easily.

I know! That's why I'll have to set up very cunning traps!

That... is a way to catch people, I guess...

[closest thing I could find to Erza face-palming]

Yup! Now I just need to find people with bounties! [Because he has this problem that the only people he knows with bounties are himself and his friends.]

If I find out about any, I'll be sure to let you know. I don't have any motivation to hunt for bounties here anyways.

Gee! Thanks!

OH! And the name is Vash. [Incase you didn't catch it when he yelled it over the journal.]

Nice to meet you. My name's Erza Scarlet, from the mage guild Fairy Tail.

Nice to meet you too! Keep me updated on any bounties!

[HM HM HM. Well, it's hard being a Turk with no Shinra (although she's glad there's no Shinra because she still doesn't like the company in general), and bounty hunting seems like it might have some similarities...]

Question! Actually, two.

Yes?

First, do you think I'm cute?

[That is a very dangerous question!] Oh! Um... Yes? I mean yes! Yeah you're cute! Hahaha! Yeah, sure!

[IT IS INDEED.] You seemed a little hesitant about that. You want a good assistant, right?

Oh! RIGHT! Of course! You pass!

No, no, wait! I didn't get to the second question!

Alright! Shoot!

What skills do you think I'd practice most as a bounty hunter assistant?

[Because this is ttly an interview.]

Well, let's see... uh...oh! Your brain! I'm going to need help thinking up clever traps to catch the baddies! And you'll have to be good with numbers so we know which bounties are worth going after!

Hmm...

Traps are definitely useful! And we'll have to track them down, too. Okay, I'll help!

Great! Let me know if you find anyone with a good bounty to catch!

You don't know anyone yet? Let's see...who would put out bounties here...

Well my friends Sanji and Luffy each have one. That's about it. [And so does he but SHHHH! He's hoping no one will notice Meryl's mention of that.]

Ah...are you going after them?

Well I am a bounty hunter. I just need to catch them and turn them in someplace and since there's no jail here... so... they'll be fine!

...But then why have a bounty? [AERITH GET RID OF THE LOGIC.]

Well; they got it in their home world - but a bounty is a bounty!

Ar

~~Vash, w~~

Did you [ long pause between words here, kthnx. ] hit your head or something?

No. I just felt like I should get a job and help out more! [Duh.]

But they don't have money here. Can you be a bounty hunter without a bounty to collect?

Oh... um. I'll just have to collect favors I guess!

I guess that could work. As long as you're happy anyway.

[ Note to self, Usopp: never tell Vash about the bounties of the crew members. Or, well. Luffy's is ruined and apparently so is Sanji's, but there are other ones and he will protect those secrets with his life. 8| ]

Yeah! This will be fun!

Okay then. Don't get hurt.

Don't worry! I won't! I'm very clever!

[ so not amused! ]

...Bounty hunter...

Yup! Do you have a bounty you need brought in!?

A bounty on me?

[ confused much? ]

On you or someone you know!

...A man called Hyuuga. Go after him.

[ pffft. Teito, being a little mean-spirited. ]

Hm... how much is it?

A bounty hunter? What brought about this?

I dunno! I just need to start helping out more! So I thought I should get a job and I think I'd be a good bounty hunter!

How useful is being a bounty hunter when hardly anyone in Luceti has a bounty? In fact, I do believe the only people I know of that do are myself and the crew-

AHH, does that mean you'll be after our bounties?! I must warn Luffy-san!

OH! You have a bounty too Brook!? I already caught Luffy...

We all do- [Probably shouldn't be admitting that, but before he can retract that statement he realizes what you just said] What?! When did this happen?

Hm, but Nami said she didn't have one...

Oh. An hour ago or so?

Of course she has one. Sanji-san showed me her bounty poster once!

Ahh, but I should not be worrying about such a thing at a time like this! I can't believe you captured my captain, Vash-san! I-I'll have to save him!

Hm. I wonder if it counts still now that she's a marine.

And Nami has him now. So check with her where he is. [As Vash obviously doesn’t care if Luffy gets free again - his job is just the catching!]

Edited 2010-01-27 01:16 (UTC)

Eh? Well if Nami-san has him, he's probably safe. Ah, what a relief! I need some tea to calm my nerves now.

Ah! But I am a skeleton, so I would have none! Yohohoho!

So... where are you Brook?

Oh, out and about town. Why?

[Singsong voice] No reason~!

Town...

Hm. Near the square?

Edited 2010-01-27 01:24 (UTC)

[He'll remember why he needs to be worried in a bit]

No, no - I just left there.

So... headed to the bar to get some tea?

Why yes! I just finished the last of mine, you see, and with that fright you gave me I could certainly use more.

B-but now I've realized that I don't need tea so badly, so I don't think I shall be going there after all!

So you're going home?

Yes! N-no! I mean, no.

So... where are you going?

Ah... well where are you at, currently?

Near community building four. [He's not great at this.]

[Aha! Shall now be avoiding that area like the plague! Every once in a while, he can be cunning]

What a coincidence! I need to... [Thinking of something] visit Noel-san! She lives in the same building! So I will be headed over there shortly.

Perfect! I'll meet you there and when you're done I can take you to Nami and collect the bounty!

I wonder if Noel has a bounty.

Isn't Luffy-san's bounty large enough to satisfy you? Mine really is miniscule in comparison!

[And now he can get his tea assured there will be no bounty hunters waiting for him]

It's not about the money!

So what is the point of hunting bounty heads in the first place?

It's!... um... I dunno.

[...] This is all very confusing.

No it's not! I take you to Nami! She gives me a voucher to hand in to some Smoker guy! Then she can let you go or... something and I can catch you again! [What's not to get!?]

But I don't want to be caught at all!

But I can't collect the bounty if I don't catch you!

I thought you just said it wasn't about the money! [Wait] Luceti doesn't even have money!

That's what the vouchers are for!

What are the vouchers good towards? Donuts?

I dunno... but that's a great idea! [Now he REALLY wants to catch you.]

[... What is WRONG with people today?]

Vash, are you okay?

Perfectly fine!

... What's with the change of heart though?

Huh?

You never really seemed like the type of person to hunt others.

Well sometimes dangerous people need to be brought in!

You're not planning to hunt down all of them alone, are you?

No! I'm looking for cute assistances!

Cute assistances?

Yeah! You know! Little kids with cute catchphrases or pretty women!

Oh. [Well, he can't exactly help since he's neither.] Have you found anyone then?

A couple. No really good catchphrases yet.

What kind of catchphrases are you looking for?

Hm. Not sure. You can't THINK up a great catchphrase. It just comes on it's own.

Why not?

I dunno! Just better ones seem to just make themselves!

I guess they do.

[The net yanks up and Vash emergences from his hiding spot.] Aw man. It didn't work...

Hey, you don't have a bounty on your head do you?

Can you talk? [Here Vash thought everything here could speak.]

...Woof.

[Sheepish grin] Well, I guess everything can't talk. [Makes a wave at the meat] You can have that doggie I'll find more.

[Sorry, Vash doesn't speak head tilts. He's headed to the store to get more meat.]

... You're not serious, are you?

Why wouldn't I be?

Since when did you even do bounty hunting?

Oh! One time I took collected a bounty on a couple members of the Nebraska Family! They were kinda tuff but if I brought them in I could bring in more!

So you decided to be a bounty hunter because of that?

I dunno... it just seemed like a good idea!

You're not going to shoot them, are you?

No! I'm going to set traps!

What kind?

The... uh... clever kind!

... You don't have a clue, do you?

Ahaha... no.

Well... do you have at least an idea.

Uhhhh, something with a net!

... You need to be more specific than that.

Um... a net with some bait!

... Maybe I should help you.

Ahaha... you think I need it?

Just a bit.

Great! Let's get started!

DO you want to go with generic traps, or do you want to try making a catapult.

Catapult!? I don't want to hurt anyone!

I don't mean to hurt anyone. You can use snowballs to slow them down.

Oh! Good plan sidekick!

Sidekick?

Every good bounty hunter has a sidekick!

I don't want to be a bounty hunter sidekick though.

Hm. Why not? It will be lots of fun and I'll cut you in on the bounty! As soon as I figure out what to do about the lack of money.

There are a lot of bad people here, you'll get into a lot of trouble with that.

Not every bad person has a bounty.

But aren't bounties normally placed because they did something bad in the first place?

Well yeah - but sometimes bad people get away without getting a bounty put on them. Also not everyone with a bounty is bad - more of a misunderstanding.

So why hunt them down?

Uh... for the money? I dunno, it's my job?

There's no money in Luceti.

[Smilies a silly smile and shrugs]

[Just... shakes his head.]

[And Luffy is walking to the plaza looking pretty tired when-- OSHI--]

HEY, IS THAT--

Oh. I thought it was free coffee. Never mind then...

[He takes a sip of coffee from his mug and continues walking]

Wha-? Coffee? Hm. [His plan clearly needs rethinking.]

[Luffy walks into a store and comes out of it carrying a big bag of coffee beans. Now. Back to the house to finish more paper work]

[Well while you were there Vash has reset his trap with coffee and a package of POST IT NOTES!]

Hey, coffee! And that other stuff I need!

[Runs over to get it!]

[Vash waits for you to be standing on the net to trigger his clever, clever trap.]

[Obliviously steps on the net. Yaaay. Now he can have his coffee at last. REACHEEES]

Edited 2010-01-26 04:37 (UTC)

[And sets off the trap. Enjoy your time in a tree Luffy!] AHAHAHA! Now your bounty is mine!

[FFFFFF-- DAMN YOU VASH]

Vash...? What are you doing?

Oh! I'm a bounty hunter now! I have to hand you in to Nami to collect!

You an idiot? There's no money here.

She said it would get worked out!

Fine. Let's get this over with then...

[Taking out journal - calling Nami!] Hey! I caught Luffy! I need to hand him in so I can collect the bounty!

Oh, excellent work! I'm just in my room, bring him in.

Edited 2010-01-26 04:59 (UTC)

Okay! We'll be right there! [Here Luffy! Vash will give you a free ride home! It's just you know... in a net.]

[THIS SUCKS. They'll probably be to your room/knocking on the door or whatever soon, Nami]

Just put him down in the corner. [She's written you a receipt and everything! Sup, Luffy. Nami appears to be polishing a pair of boots.]

Okay! [Sets Luffy's down carefully in a corner. He still likes Luffy after all!]

[C'mon Nami let's hurry this up geez]

Great! Here you go. [One receipt for bounty delivered, young man.] Just look up Commodore Smoker and he'll see you're well compensated.

Thanks Nami!

...who is Commodore Smoker?

Guy with white hair and a white jacket and a big scowl. You can't miss him.

I think I met him!

...but he said he was a pirate.

[Probably trying to steal some paper and a pen out of the room if there are any]

[You are totally getting rapped over the knuckles with a shiny black dress shoe, Monkey D. Luffy. Nobody steals from JUSTICE.]

He's lying. Smoker just wants to get close to the pirates so he can arrest them.

[and this is Sanji, poking his head into the room to see the damage. To his waning surprise, Vash wasn't kidding about cashing Luffy in]

... What are you three doing?

Oh! Sanji! There. He's here too! Can I collect his bounty too?

Sanji, did you bring paper and a pen?

[Voice]

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

/ninja tags before bed.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject